This is a very true story so feel free to comment.
So two weeks ago my girlfriend of 9 years decided that she wants to date other people. Its three months until our wedding, she just put a wedding dress on lay-a-way. She just ordered invitations, and suddenly she tells me she no longer wants to get married. She goes on to tell me the reason is because she doesn’t want kids, and I do. She says that she is not willing to poop her pants for me anymore (she has done it a few times though it took extreme arguing and fighting, and wets for me many times without fighting at all). She then slips something out about being flirted with and wanting to flirt back, so because of this she feels we are no longer compatible. We still live together in our two bedroom house until I move into my new apartment in aug. Now onto the karma part and the super irony of this story.
So friday I stop at the store to buy a few things and I call her to see if she needs anything. (we are still friends) She tells me no, but then she says that she has an “awkward” favor to ask me when I get home. I ask if she could tell me more and she just said I will ask when you get here. Okay so I am thinking of everything I can think of about what this “favor” could be. Well when I get home she is outside vacuuming her car with the shop vac and I think nothing of it. She follows me inside and when I ask about this “favor” she gets bright red and says “remember when you told me to take pictures if something ever happened to me?”. (referring to me telling her I wanted pictures if she ever pooped or peed her pants stuck in traffic). I replied “you peed your pants”. she said “worse”. “You pooped your pants!” I said. She blushed again told me the story. She said that she was on the back roads driving home when she suddenly had a strong diarrhea urge hit her. She pulled over and got one foot out of the car before the dam burst and she loaded her pants. She said that she just put her foot back in the door and pushed the rest out into her pants. She then felt the urge to pee and said “fuck it” I’ve already shit myself. She still has a 30 minute drive home from this point and ended up having bad heavy waves of diarrhea hit 3 more times, with one more pee before getting home. She was so pissed off because this happened to her right after breaking up with me and saying how not wanting to poop her pants as one of the reasons and she not only pooped herself, but pooped herself 4 times on the drive home. Of course I’m laughing at this point at the total irony and karma of it all. Then she ask me the favor. She asked me to see she was totally cleaned up in her vagina region, and wanted me to feel inside her vagina to make sure no poop was inside. We are still friends (until I leave anyway) so I say I will do it and of course there are remnants in and around her vagina including some corn kernels from the dinner she had the night before. I cleaned out her vagina (no we did not have sex). Now I’m sharing this with the community asking the question is this the very definition of irony or karma or what?
PS. No she did not take pictures 🙁