turd burglar

A shopping center in Jiangmen City in China’s Guangdong province is stepping up its security measures after a man was caught sneaking into a women’s restroom and snacking on the delectable lady-droppings within.

According to a report by local new station GDTV (which was translated by Shanghaiist), the avowed turd burgler has been doing this for quite some time. He obtains the smelly treats by scaring away the women before they’ve flushed:

“He goes to the second floor ladies’ room to find [feces] to eat. He usually comes between 8:00 a.m. to 10:00 a.m. during the first half of the day, and then comes again at around 3:00 p.m.,” the guard said, adding that the man walks in on women before they’re able to finish flushing the toilet.

One has to wonder why the guard never stopped him, despite being aware of his actions to the point where he knew the man’s schedule. Maybe something’s been lost in translation?

What has not been lost in translation is the bathroom bandit’s penchant for poop, which comes through loud and clear in this interview (via Shanghaiist):

Reporter: What’re you doing here?
Man: Eating shit.
R: What? What’s in your hands?
M: It’s shit.
R: Why would you want to do that?
M: I eat it when I’m hungry.
R: But why do you choose to go to the ladies’ room?
M: It’s more tasty.

Reporter: Isn’t your family worried about you?
Man: They’re all dead.
R: Don’t you know this behavior isn’t good or healthy?
M: I’ve eaten shit for eight years. I feel better after eating it.

The stinky sneak says he’s been doing it for eight years and has no intention of stopping. I always figured eating excrement was bad for you, but he seems like he’s doing okay, at least physically, so it must not be so bad, after all.

Commenting on the story, a doctor from a local hospital said it’s “very possible” the man has a history of mental illness, but I say you do you. If only there were some way we could get the Bathroom Bandit together with the Fecal Rascal we found out about a few months ago. That would truly be a match made in heaven.

[h/t The Mirror UK | Screengrab via The Mirror]

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