This is about last Saturday night when I couldn’t get to the toilet in time, and certainly couldn’t get to my camera on the other side of the house. Regrets regrets all around.
I didn’t even have a bellyache, but I had some rumblings when I decided to go to the store before a basketball game I wanted to watch came on. I got my list and got in the car and took off. Mind you the store is only about a mile away.
I was approaching the main street that the store was on when suddenly the rumbling became serious and the pressure on my asshole reached extreme levels. I leaned a little to let out a small fart, hoping I wouldn’t shit and it would relieve the pressure. I still had plenty of opportunity to turn around and head back home to shit, but I didn’t. It did however relieve the pressure some so I went on to the store.
I did my shopping, walking at a quicker pace than normal through the store. I really couldn’t tell if I had sharted or not. As I went through the checkout I started to sweat. (You KNOW that’s bad). I tossed the bags in the back seat of the car, got in and drove home as fast as I could without attracting unwanted attention.
I did a sliding 90 into the driveway, turned the car off, grabbed the bags and hustled to the door; lucky I hadn’t locked it. I sped through the door, not even taking my shoes or jacket off, through the kitchen literally dropping the bags in the floor and headed straight to the bathroom.
The last couple of steps into the bathroom shit started leaking out and coming faster with each step. In one motion I got to the toilet, pulled my pants down, started to sit, and my pulsing asshole let go I guess about my ass-height from the floor above the bowl all at the same time.
About 3/4 of it went onto the back of the bowl, the seat, and the bottom of the lid. And it turned out I had sharted in the car. My gut was convulsing and I just sat down into the pile I had spewed onto the seat. It was all I could do. It was one of those shits that wrings you out, and you’re actually tired when it stops.
I should have shit before I went to the store, or at the very least turned around when I sharted. But no I HAD to go on to the store, resulting in the unholy mess all over the back of the toilet. I didn’t get any in the floor, although on second thoughts I should have just shit in the floor in the bathroom, the utility room, or even when I dropped the bags in the kitchen floor – it would have been much easier to clean up. It took about a half-hour to clean the shit off the toilet, and of course I had to take an unplanned, second-one-of-the-day shower.
As I was sitting there, warm sloppy shit spreading under my ass cheeks on the back of the seat, I thought about what it would have looked like if I could have gotten the camera. This shit was bigger than any I’ve had in a very long time. It would have been a sensation.
I’ve attached a picture of my skidmarked underwear. I suppose I’m lucky I didn’t let go in the store. Holy hell would that have been awful. Damned I wish I could have at least gotten a picture of the damage to the back of the toilet, but shit was dripping off my ass, I had to get the toilet cleaned up, and I had to clean myself up.
I’ve been having diarrhea (not pure water but the consistency of a cow-pie) fairly often since the first of the year. I changed my diet and am eating a lot more salads and vegetables and such. In fact the shits I’ve been taking in the bathtub looking at them closely I can see the undigested stuff. In the toilet bowl when I flush there’s little pieces of lettuce in there that have turned brown. (Has anyone else noticed that in the shit?) That’s gross but I laugh every time. How fast does that shit go through me? Sometimes it seems like I eat and within an hour I’m shitting it out!
And like I said in the title, this is a true story from beginning to end. Oh yeah, I shit again about an hour later. That one is posted in my videos – the one titled “In the bathtub” and uploaded on January 19. This one was tiny compared to the massive blowout I had that hour earlier.