The Human Toilet Project
It all began with a casual visit to the Misc. part of Craigslist’s job openings. I didn’t necessarily need a job because I had begun to receive Social Security just a few months ago, but you are allowed to have a little part time work. The listing was as follows.
The University of California Berkeley Psychology Dept in coordination with UC Medical School Dept of Internal Medicine need a male volunteer for their human toilet project. We prefer someone who has never been a toilet slave or engaged in any BDSM. Our project will study the effects of prolonged and sustained ingestion of female urine and fecal matter upon the male body. The volunteer will be closely monitored by trained nurses, and given probiotics and injections as needed while he serves as a toilet for a very large number of women within a very short time. We are also studying the psychological impact of being a human toilet, as well as the psychology of the women using the human toilet.
Four hundred women have volunteered to use our subject as their toilet over the next six weeks. This job pays very well but should not be treated casually or taken for the sake of a sexual thrill. This project will prove to be extremely stressful upon the subject’s body and psyche. More about the possible risks will be discussed in a face to face interview with the administrators of the Human Toilet Project. Please send your email and phone # to email@example.com
Please explain in the body of your email why you are interested in being our toilet. We will email you to arrange a phone screening if we are interested in hiring you. If that goes well we will arrange a face to face interview.
Well I can’t seem too damn eager to do this. I’ve got to show them that I am very serious about this and have the stamina to see it through.‚ I thought to myself. Wait! Do I even want to do this?? Be a toilet for hundreds of women? I could easily die. Nah! They won’t let that happen. God!!! It could be really horrible, couldn’t it? The thought of it makes me want to gag. On the other hand…..the thought of it gives me an enormous hard on. There I go again, being guided by my dick. That has never turned out well. What the hell, why not? I’ll shoot them an email. Can’t hurt. They aren’t going to choose an old fuck like me anyhow.
Dear Human Toilet Project: I am 65 years old and retired. I am very interested in discovering the roots of a man’s desire to consume a woman’s waste. I would love to contribute to your research in any way I can. You can decide for yourselves if I would be a suitable toilet. All I can say is that I am willing to do this in spite of all my fears (and there are many.) Because as scared as I am, I am also intrigued and would love to have this once in a lifetime experience. I know I will be well taken care of, and will learn a great deal from being the subject of this experiment.
Sort of sounds like I am willing to sacrifice my life in the interests of science. I don’t know….‚ I quickly added my email address and phone number.
I clicked on Send. (I can’t tell you how many times clicking on Send has gotten me into trouble of one sort or another) Oh well….maybe they will call…
There was a message on my machine the next day, leaving the number of Dr. Jenkins. It was a woman’s voice, probably his student assistant or something. Before I could get the jitters I called. ‚Dr. Jenkins office, Dr. Jenkins speaking‚ a female voice said.
Hi! This is Russell Callahan. I applied for your toilet slave, excuse me, human toilet position.‚” (Shit! This isn’t going well, I thought)
Have you ever been a toilet slave, Mr. Callahan?
Oh no! Not at all. Nothing like that. I live a pretty normal and boring life, nothing kinky.‚
I see. You are only interested in furthering the cause of science, and nobly contributing to our research. This is a very serious offer, Mr. Callahan. We are not interested in bringing someone in only to have him bail out on us. Our toilet will be designed to fit our subject’s body, so we wouldn’t be able to just…‚
Oh no, please! I am very serious. I understand how stressful this whole thing will undoubtedly be‚
Oh no you don’t! You have no idea, Mr. Callahan. (I could hear a chuckle) Really! No idea at all! You will literally want to die at times, and you won’t, well…at least if we have anything to do with it, you won’t be granted that privilege.
(Is it my imagination or is Dr. Jenkins starting to sound like a dominatrix? I thought)
There was an awkward silence on the phone. I’d better say something now and make it good.
Of course I don’t have any idea of what I would getting myself into, Dr. Jenkins. That is a lot of the reason why I want to be your toilet, well not your own personal t..
So why wouldn’t you want to be my own personal toilet, Mr. Callahan?‚
I uh..I mean…I will do whatever you wish Dr. Jenkins, I just want to be a part of this thing.
Be the toilet for over four hundred women over the course of six weeks?
(How the hell are they are going to manage this? That is a lot of shit and piss.‚ I thought.)
Very well then. How would tomorrow morning at 10 am work for you?‚
To start being a toilet?
(she laughed) No, no! I would never do that to you! For our introductory meeting! You can learn more about the Project, meet the women involved in it, and then we will start building the toilet and get you started, probably as early as next Friday if that works for you.
You mean I’m hired?
You are hired, Mr. Callahan.
There was another awkward silence. He could hear the Doctor breathing.
Let’s just say I like your sense of humor. she said.
Uh. Thank you! I will, wait! Where is this meeting?
She told me where the meeting was located on campus and with that she hung up.
(Funny.‚I thought. ‚I don’t remember telling any jokes.)