Human Toilet Training
The meeting took place in a nondescript conference room. Six women ranging in age from 26 to 58 sat around a nondescript table. Some of them were very well dressed and quite attractive. I could feel my cock getting hard as I imagined what it would be like to be used by them, to be their toilet. Ever since I learned that I had been hired to be the subject of their Human Toilet Project, I couldn’t help thinking about it. I imagined being the toilet for every attractive woman I saw. I was daydreaming now, as I sat in this uncomfortable plastic chair.
Would you like to hear about the way this whole thing is going to work?
Of course. Sorry. I feel a little overwhelmed right now.
Daydreaming about being a human toilet?
I think you will quickly discover that your fantasies are nothing like how it really feels. There really is no way to prepare you for this. We are just going to have to take the plunge. Or, at least, you will.
We are going to take a lot of precautions to try to ensure that you survive this ordeal, and no question about it, this will be an horrific ordeal. (How would she know? Has she ever had anyone shit in her mouth? Actually from the look of her, maybe she has.)
Why are you smiling, Mr. Callahan?
Just nervous. I smile when I’m nervous.
We are going to take your measurements and fashion a special box just for you. It will be your own toilet as well as the frame for the ladies’s toilet, which will be you! A place for you lie back and relax, your head resting against the back of the box, just below the toilet lid where the ladies will sit. A plastic funnel is attached to the top of the box, and the opening at the end of that funnel will be tightly bound to your mouth by a large rubber band. It will be a soft rubber band so it won’t hurt all that much. But that rubber band holds your mouth to the opening at the end of the funnel. You won’t be able to close your mouth. Your teeth will fit into two small slits on the sides of the funnel mouth. Nothing can leak out. You won’t have to worry about piss or shit splattering you, well, except for the inside of your mouth and throat. They are going to get quite a workout. This funnel is designed in such a way, Mr. Calahan, that every bit of excrement, every drop of urine falls directly into your mouth. You won’t be able to move a muscle, you can’t close your mouth. You will be totally helpless. All you can do is lie there and receive their bowel movements. How do you feel about that?
It worries me. What if I can’t breathe? What if I choke on their shit? I know how bowel movements can be, and I have a pretty small mouth.
Well, at least you have thought that far ahead, Mr. Callahan.
You can call me Russell.
Thank you. Russell. I will. We are going to get to know each other pretty well, so we should be on a first name basis. I agree.
(Something about the way she said that makes me think she wants to be the first to use me as a toilet, and that her turds will be fucking enormous.)
We have arranged a way for water to flow from a small faucet at the top of the funnel. It won’t be enough to choke you, just enough to moisten the walls of your mouth and throat, and loosen any fecal matter that might be sticking there. It will also make it much easier for you to swallow, which will still be very difficult, but not impossible, at least. There will also be a straw of sorts, leading from outside the box, just behind your left ear, and curving around and into your mouth, where it leads down into your lungs. It won’t seem like much air, but it will hopefully be enough to save your life.
(It suddenly became apparent to me that this was no joke. I really could suffocate and die with a mouth and throat filled with piss and shit, totally unable to breathe. Thank God for that straw, I hope it isn’t some bullshit plastic McDonald’s straw. I want it to be the kind the astronauts use. Do they use straws to breathe? I don’t think so.)
However the volunteers have all been briefed on the dangers of suffocation. They know they need to keep their pissing and shitting in small enough bits for you to swallow, but as we all know that isn’t always possible when it comes to pissing and shitting. Shit happens, as the expression goes.
I know another expression Doctor. Eat shit and die.
(I noticed how all of the women in the room tried not to laugh or smirk. I also noticed how Herr Doktor was the only woman speaking. What kind of outfit is she running?)
By the way, Herr, I mean Dr. Jenkins. Sorry. What is your first name?
Diana. Diana Jenkins
(She didn’t need to do that. I knew her last name.)
I’m sorry if I come off a little what would you call it?…..Uh
Ok. yeah. Scared shitless actually
Interesting choice of words
Shit is the final word. It is the thing we are all obsessed with. It’s in our language, it’s in our nightmares when we are little, and as adults we turn shit into a joke. But as you will soon learn, shit is serious. We came from shit, in a way, as all life must.
And to shit we shall return (I couldn’t resist)
I believe the word is dust, Russell, return to dust.
Nah, shit was the original translation, they had to clean it up.
(this time the women felt it was probably ok to laugh, and they did, a little too much.)
But back to the subject, Russell, which you seem to be avoiding…
You will be able to relieve yourself while being a toilet, you will be shitting a lot and we will be coming in once every two hours to empty your tray. You will also be administered probiotics if needed, and I can’t imagine you not needing them, and anything else you might need…..to survive. You will also be monitored, your heart beat, blood pressure, so we can tell if you are in danger and someone can be there in a minute, they will be right next door to you. Oh, and you will also have a catheter to enable you to piss. You will be pissing and shitting a lot, Russell. Basically, you will be a tube for their piss and shit, in and back out, just passing through.
Try not to stink up the joint.
(that joke fell flat, I’ve got to quit trying to make light of all this.)
That’s basically it. These women will be kind to you. Later, when the general public will be involved, it will be a bit different, more of a challenge.
Relax Russell, no men, no children, no old ladies. Only adult women .And this is important, I didn’t really go into this part and it is important. You are going to have to concentrate on just moving the shit down your throat, don’t let it concentrate inside your throat, it has to keep moving, and the toughest part will be keeping from gagging. You will want to throw up but you can’t, if you try you could kill yourself, in spite of everything we have done to prevent it. So focus on that. Not gagging and making sure to swallow everything no matter how vile. It’s bad at first, but we think you will actually get kind of used to it, over time a human being can get used to anything. Who knows? You might even grow to like guzzling down piss and shit.
I doubt it.
We shall see, won’t we? That is part of the reason for this whole project. We will get back in touch with you, and give you a chance to try out our…I keep wanting to say toilet, but you are the toilet, your box I guess, as bland as that sounds, your box, your pod, your gizmo. Have fun in the meantime and try not to obsess over all this. It will be what it is. And you will have something to talk to your friends about over a pitcher of beer.
That would be one shitty conversation.
Diane only smiled.
Hey! I thought she liked my sense of humor.