Growing up in a small town, life was boring. Being an introvert and not having many friends, with both parents working, I was often at home to entertain myself.
Since I can remember, I always had dreams or thoughts about poop. At my daycare after half-day kindergarten, I’d often try and sneak a diaper away, or just touch baby type things like changing pads, rockers, and other things that had that soil-resistant vinyl on it. It was very tactile. I can’t say for certain that it was arousing at such a young age, but it was definitely exciting.
Years went by, and I finally had some time to myself. I was out delivering my papers in grade six in the dead of a Canadian winter. It wasn’t too cold, but there was 3-4 feet of snow in places. I had a diaper on I had taken from a local department store that had a supply in the restrooms. Half way though my route I had to go so bad, so I decided to go in the diaper. It was more than I bargained for, easily bursting through the diaper and getting all over my pants and even into my snowpants. I had 40min left in my route on a good day… the snow was going to make this hard.
When I got home I ran upstairs to the bathroom. It was good to be home but terrifying to think about what awaited me. The only time I can remember being more nervous was the first time I had sex. I took my snowpants off and luckily there was just a bit from where it came up the back of my pants. The pants were a little worse, but not ruined… My undies and the diaper within however were an absolute mess. I just remember being so scared, because no matter how much toilet paper I used, I was still dirty. One and a half rolls or so later, I was in the shower scrubbing my pants and snowpants, and my rear end. I ditched the underwear and diaper.
A day or two went by and I was still on my own, only with nightly visits from my neighbor to make sure I was ok and to bring me over for dinner. I couldn’t get the thought of all that poop out of my head. I needed to try it again, but not be so messy. I drew a bath after dinner and went while on my hands and knees in the tub. I honestly wasn’t sure what to expect but when I righted myself and turned around, there was this long winding coil of turd right there in the tub with me. I don’t know how long I just sat there looking at it… I didn’t know what I was doing or why… but eventually I touched it. It was smooth and slimy, and very warm. I would just stroke it and squeeze it, but trying not to get messy. I studied how it smelt, how it looked, and how it felt. Again with the tactile personality. I liked it, all of it.
From there, I went further when I could. I frequently pooped in the shower, since my bedroom had an ensuite, I wasn’t ashamed or worried about doing this. Eventually the day came where I wanted to go further… probably still grade six, I remember it being the spring time.
I rolled back onto my shoulders with my butt in the air and tried to poop. It took a lot, I wasn’t used to going in such a position…. but eventually a long slick turd slid down between my legs, across my belly and chest, and landed on my neck and face. The smell was a lot different close up, a lot different than from what I had on my hands… it was unsettling at first.
I was already masturbating by this time, but my interests in poop (and pee as well, though I’ve been leaving that out) had not crossed paths. It wasn’t until a few years later when we finally got the internet did I start exploring the idea that I might not be the only one. Up came the browser and I was typing in things like “poop sex” and “poop fantasy”. The first led me to a now defunct picture board full of (mostly European) women covered in poop, having sex. I had never seen so much poop in my life, and only a little bit of pornography which was no where near this type (vintage playboys swiped from a friend’s dad’s collection, you know, mad pre-internet sourcing skills d-: ). I remember at first being absolutely disgusted and terrified. I left the page immediately and went to the next search, which came up with a lot of erotica forums and stories pages. I liked it. I remember reading one story of a woman who was to be initiated into an all-women secret society, and she had to eat the shit of every single woman present. It was very detailed, and I remember getting very aroused by it.
But by this point, I still wasn’t sure if it was just a phase, or something here to stay…