I did not write this story. I am sharing it with you because I would love to see this episode of Supernatural.
“Cas! Watch out!” Dean yelled, dodging a punch from the Okami as it spun around to face Cas. Cas immediately ducked and then hit her with the bamboo dagger. That made two stabs. Two down. Five to go. The Okami bared her teeth and Cas jumped back. She began walking towards him, the former angel stepping back before taking another swing at her. He missed and she grabbed at him, claws extended.
“Hey! Fuckface!” Dean yelled. The Okami turned and faced him before running at the hunter. “Come and get me you little bitch!”
The Okami narrowed her eyes at him as she charged forward. He stepped out of her way and stabbed her in the stomach with a blade. Three down. Four to go.
“Dean!” Cas shouted.
Dean looked up, but was taken by surprised when the Okami threw him across the room into a wall.
Cas immediately ran towards him, helping him to his feet.
“I’m a big boy, Cas.” Dean chuckled. “I can handle this on my own.”
“Obviously you can not.” Cas muttered, pushing Dean behind him and standing in front.
“Cas!” Dean snapped. “Don’t stand in front of me, let me go!”
“Dean-” Before Cas could finish what he’d started, the Okami grabbed the both of them, hurling them across the room.
Dean quickly grabbed Cas’s hand and pulled him into the wardrobe, breaking off the bar along the top and sliding it on the door handles, ‘locking’ it shut.
“Good going, Cas.” Dean grumbled.
“This was not my fault, Dean.” Cas hissed as the Okami growled. “And what the hell is that smell?”
“Hey whoever smelt it dealt it.” Dean smirked.
“Now is not the time for flatulent jokes, Dean.” Cas stated. “And honestly what is that smell?”
“I don’t smell anything, Cas.” Dean replied.
Cas turned around and pressed his nose to the side of the wardrobe and took a large sniff.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Dean laughed.
“Sniffing…” Cas muttered.
“Well I can tell that? But why?” Dean asked.
“Because it’s familiar. It’s mountain ash.” Cas breathed.
“Isn’t that stuff like super rare?” Dean responded.
“The furniture in this room seems to be made of it.” Cas said.
“You can smell that?” Dean scoffed.
“I may no longer be an angel, but I’m not incompetent, Dean. I still remember the smells and touch and other senses of supernatural objects, beings, and materials.” Cas explained.
“Hm. Cool.” Dean muttered. “So we’re safe in here.”
“Yes.” Cas answered.
“All we have to do is wait for Sam to get another dagger and get it blessed.” Dean smiled sarcastically. “Which could take all day.”
“This is why I thought it would be a bad idea to come without him or before he was ready.” Cas said.
“Oh rub it in why don’t you?” Dean mumbled.
“That’s what I’m doing, is it not?” Cas replied.
“It is.” Dean sighed.
“Good.” Cas grinned.
“Sometimes I miss the good ol’ days. When you had a stick up your ass.” Dean snapped.
“Ouch. That hurt.” Cas stated.
“Good.” Dean mimicked Cas’s tone, remaining in silence for a few moments before speaking again. “Why couldn’t this dude get a more larger wardrobe?”
“I believe the proper useage is just larger wardrobe.” Cas replied.
“I don’t give a fuck.” Dean groaned.
“Besides, he was a hunter. He probably only had a duffle bags worth of plaid shirts. That’s a trend I’ve noticed in hunters.” Cas mused.
Dean laughed quietly to himself. “Really?”
“Yeah.” Cas said softly, his chin practically resting on Dean’s shoulder in the cramped space.
“Just pray to your lameass God that Sam comes quickly.” Dean sighed.
“You’re the lameass…” Cas mumbled.
“Yeah whatever, chuckles.” Dean smiled, reaching his arm awkwardly over his head and ruffling Cas’s hair.
“Cas are you injured or something?” Dean finally asked after hearing Cas make these whimpers and grunts for the past hour.
“No. Outside of the usual cuts and scrapes, I seem unharmed.” Cas stated.
“Then what the hell is wrong?” Dean asked.
“What makes you think anything’s wrong?” Cas replied.
“Dude. You’re making noises.” Dean said.
“Everyone makes noises.” Cas responded bluntly.
“Yeah. Once in a while. A sneeze here, cough here – not constant painful noises.” Dean snorted.
“I’ll try and be quiet then. We are trapped in a rather tight, enclosed space, Dean.” Cas mused.
“And that has what to do with what?” Dean chuckled.
“You’re obviously going to hear sounds more clearly especially since we’re squished together and my face is by your ear.” Cas explained.
“Whatever.” Dean rolled his eyes.
Whatever Cas was moaning and groaning about earlier, it’d sure increased, but Dean hadn’t brought it up. Cas didn’t want to tell him, Cas didn’t want to tell him. Simple as that.
But at this point, Cas did want to tell him. In fact, he had to.
“Dean.” Cas choked out.
“What? Is something wrong? You don’t sound too hot.” Dean asked.
“I’m…I have to us-” Cas stammered.
“Oh God don’t say it.” Dean groaned.
“I’m sorry.” Cas muttered.
“Just try and hold it a little longer, kay? Sammy’s coming as fast as he can.” Dean said softly. “Number one, not number two right?”
“Yeah.” Cas answered.
“Well that’s good.” Dean laughed awkwardly.
“Yeah.” Cas croaked.
Dean didn’t hear him. He was off in his head now, his dick hardening fast. Dean was a kinky son of a bitch, sure. But bodily fluids weren’t always his thing. Spit and come he was fine with. Blood didn’t make him uneasy, but he did prefer to keep his work life and sex life separate when possible. Unlike Sam. But vomit play, watersports, scat, and others weren’t something he would jump at to try, but this wasn’t really watersports.
He was imagining Cas behind him, eyes squeezed shut, biting down on his lip. His hands maybe gripping his crotch, legs pressed together, knees slightly bent. His stomach would be throbbing and his bladder just begging to be emptied. Begging. Just what Dean wanted to hear.
He wanted to hear Cas pleading and begging to use the bathroom, and that if he wet himself, he’d be punished. And he wanted Cas to be at his mercy and powerless and then he wanted to see him slowly slip and lose control. He wanted Cas to fucking piss himself wherever he was in Dean’s fantasy. Dean wanted to see Cas feel shame and embarrassment even if it was only Dean, as he soaked through his pants and clothing, a small puddle of yellow forming beneath him and – shit this was Cas he was talking about.
Even though he had this secret fantasy, when he actually felt wet heat against his ass, he felt bad. Because this wasn’t a set up sexy fun time. This was Cas. Humiliated and having an accident and Dean and Sam – his two best friends and family would have to see him like this. And maybe that fantasy wasn’t so fun now. He could hear dripping against the wood bottom of the wardrobe and there was piss soaking through the back of his jeans and dribbling down his legs. But all Dean was hearing was the quiet murmurs of “I’m sorry, Dean. I’m so sorry.” Coming from behind him.
“Cas.” Dean said softly, still disregarding the slow, wavering stream of urine falling onto the floor. “It’s alright. Can you aim at a wall or corner or something?”
“No. I tried. I can’t reach.” Cas answered, pushing his hand down Dean’s back demonstrating how his arm got sandwich between them before reaching his fly. “I’m really trying to stop, Dean. I am. I promise.”
Cas was almost sobbing now and Dean wished he could wrap his arms around him and tell him it was alright. He couldn’t so the first part, but the second part, sure.
“Castiel, it’s okay. You’re new to being human. If you can’t move, then you can’t move. No point in trying to stop. You can’t.” Dean explained. “It’s not good to hold it in anyways.”
“So? You’re right there.” Cas whimpered.
“And that’s alright. You can’t help it.” Dean told him reassuringly. “Just….” He sighed. “…let it out.”
Cas made another crying noise as the sound if pee against the floor got quicker and louder- closer to the sound of rain falling. As the stream into the floor dripping from his pants got heavier, so did the liquid seeping into Dean’s clothes. It was running down his thighs and calves and he could feel it making his boxer briefs stick to his ass and the dampness it created in between the two cheeks. And Dean had the biggest hard-on right now.
After a few minutes of thinking about less than savory things, Dean’s boner went limp. “Cas, go as far right as you can.”
“Okay. I understand. You don’t want to be around me. I’m disgusting.” Cas cried.
“No. You’re not. You’re just human.” Dean said as he scooted all the way to the left.
“You say that like there’s not a difference.” Cas muttered.
“There isn’t.” Dean smirked. “Turn 90° clockwise.”
Cas turned around to face Dean’s direction and then all of a sudden, arms were wrapped around him and a scratchy face whispering that it’s okay. And Cas hugged him back and cried into his shoulder. Dean’s hands rubbed circles into his back and he kept holding him.
Dean immediately jumped to attention when he heard Sam yelling outside and guns being fired.
“Sam knows that the Okami can only be killed by the bamboo dagger, correct?” Cas asked with a sniffle.
“Yeah. He’s always prepared though. Bullets will slow her down.” Dean explained.
“Why didn’t you bring a gun?” Cas replied meekly.
“Because Sam’s the brains and the brawn of this operation.” Dean mumbled.
“Don’t tell Sam, but I beg to differ.” Cas whispered.
Slowly Dean’s lips found their way to Cas’s and he moved his hands into Cas’s hair, messing it up more than it already was.
They were interrupted by the Okami screaming loudly as it was killed.
“Guys! You alright?!” Sam called. “Wherever you are?!”
“In here!” Dean replied. “Put my jacket around your waist. Sam doesn’t have to know okay?”
Cas nodded and made an ‘mhm’ noise.
“Is that yes to tell him or not to?” Dean asked.
“Don’t tell him. I feel shitty enough as it is.” Cas mumbled.
“Don’t. And Sam wouldn’t judge you by the way. He wants to help.” Dean said.
“Nothing to help. I just had too much coffee and forgot to use the restroom before hand.” Cas muttered.
“Happens to the best of us.” Dean whispered reassuringly as he secured the jacket around Cas’s wet front.
“Really?” Cas asked.
“Really. I got some good ones on Sam. And he some on me.” Dean answered. “I can share later.”
“Maybe…” Cas breathed as Dean opened the doors.
“That thing kept you safe?” Sam scoffed.
“Mountain ash.” Dean shrugged.
“Hm. Clever.” Sam hummed, taking notice of Deans slightly soggy shoes squeaking. He went to check Cas’s but only saw yellow stained socks and dark marks up the inside of his legs. Between the jacket around his waist and the wet yellow stains, Sam put it together. Cas had an accident. He immediately dwelt a pant of guilt thinking that if he’d hurried Cas might not have. And judging by the stains on Dean’s back, Sam guessed that Cas was pressed up against Dean when it happened. He probably had no warning.
“Cas how about you wait in the car? Dean and I can get rid of the body. You looked exhausted.” Sam offered.
Sam nodded and smiled, quickly scurrying out of the room.
“He had an accident?” Sam asked, concerned.
“How…?” Dean trailed off.
“He was soaked and his socks had yellow stains and you’re soaked too.” Sam answered.
“He didn’t want me to tell you.” Dean sighed.
“Did you tell him I wouldn’t care?” Sam asked, pouring gas over the body.
“Of course. He was just really upset over it. He felt really shitty since he was pressed up against me and couldn’t move.” Dean said.
“And didn’t you tell him it was okay?” Sam demanded.
“Of course!” Dean exclaimed lighting the body on fire with a lighter.
“That’s too bad. I’ll talk to him later.” Sam hummed.
“Why?” Dean asked.
“He needs someone to be there for him.” Sam stated.
“And you don’t think I can be that person?” Dean laughed. “Wow thanks, Sam.”
“You’re just not the most supportive type. That’s all.” Sam explained.
“I am when it comes to Cas.” Dean argued, watching the burning body intently.
“Maybe we need to potty train him more?” Sam suggested.
Dean snorted at the use of “potty train” being applied to a grown man. “I think he’s good, Sam. He was locked in there for over four hours and he didn’t go before leaving. He really tried so I think it was just an unfortunate timing.”
“If you say so. You were the one he pissed on – not me.” Sam retorted.
“Have a little faith in the guy.” Dean growled before angrily walking off.
“Where are you going?” Sam called.
“To take a leak.” Dean grumbled, rounding the corner.
Sam didn’t mention anything to Cas about knowing about his accident. They went back to the bunker and Cas immediately went towards the back.
Dean chased after him and walked with him to the showers. “Cas, wait up!”
“I’m filthy, Dean.” Cas muttered gesturing to his piss-soaked outfit.
“I know. Let me clean you up.” Dean offered.
“Why?” Cas replied, stepping into the room. “I can shower myself.”
“I know.” Dean said, following him in. “I want you to relax.”
“Showers are relaxing.” Cas stated, taking off his coat.
“I know you, Cas.” You’ll make yourself miserable somehow. Like you need some sort of punishment for what happened. But the truth is you don’t. It’s just a little pee. That’s all.
It was quite a lot if you ask me.” Cas muttered.
“Besides, I kinda have to wash myself up, too.” He chuckled.
“I’m sorry.” Cas muttered.
“It’s alright.” Dean whispered, kissing Cas on the forehead. He stripped down to his boxers and Cas down to nothing.
“Here.” Dean sat Cas down on the floor of a shower and sat next to him.
“You are aware that this isn’t a bath, aren’t you?” Cas asked.
“Yeah. It’s just more relaxing this way.” Dean replied.
“Oh.” Cas hummed as Dean turned the water on.
“Is that too hot? Cold?” Dean asked.
Cas shook his head. “It’s fine.”
“You sure?” Dean raised an eyebrow.
“Good” Dean smiled, placing some soap on a rag and placed it at Cas’s shoulder, slowly making his way down.
“I didn’t urinate on my arms.” Cas stated shyly.
“I don’t care. You’re getting the full treatment from me.” Dean grinned, the water from the showerhead heating up. “Is that getting too hot?”
“A little.” Cas muttered.
Dean reached an arm up and adjusted the temperature. “Better?”
Cas nodded and Dean resumed dragging the rag around Cas’s arm, leaving soapy suds behind it. Cas smiled at the bubbles slipping off his arm and falling onto the tiled floor before slipping into the drain. Dean saw him watching the bubbles and smiled too, crawling to Cas’s other side and starting to clean his arm.
“Dean?” Cas said quietly.
“Yeah, Cas?” Dean answered, gently scrubbing the rag back and forth around Cas’s bicep.
“Why…why do you treat me so different?” He asked.
“What do you mean?” Dean replied.
“You treat me different than you treat Sam. And you treat me different that anyone else treats me.” Cas explained. “Why?”
“I don’t…I don’t know what you mean.” Dean mumbled, focusing harder on washing Cas’s arm.
“You kissed me today.” Cas stated.
“Yeah. I suppose I did, didn’t I?” Dean sighed. “I was just trying to calm you down.”
“When you calm anyone else down, you tell them to suck it up and give them a beer.” Cas muttered.
“Well sorry there was no room for beer in there.” Dean chuckled, moving the rag down to Cas’s hand.
“That’s a bullshit excuse and you know it.” Cas frowned.
“Listen, Cas.” Dean exhaled tensely and looked up at him. “It’s hard to explain. But you’re just different, okay? You have different ‘needs’ than others.”
“Why? Just because I have no wings anymore?” Cas asked.
“No.” Dean shook his head. “Because you just are.”
“That answer is not satisfactory.” Cas said.
“Well sorry. It’s the best I can give you, Cas.” Dean offered him a small smile as he moved onto washing Cas’s midriff.
“Well if you can’t tell me that, then just tell me what we are.” Cas begged.
“Human. Hunters. Sexy mofos.” Dean laughed.
“I meant what we are together – not as individuals.” Cas replied.
“Friends. Family.” Dean stated, sliding the rag down to the top of Cas’s thigh.
“There’s more to it than that, Dean. We both know it.” Cas frowned. “Why is it that many times we’ve gone there and people thought we were in a romantic relationship? Why does everyone never bother asking you to make a choice because they say they always know you’ll choose me. And you can’t tell me you’d be in here bathing Sam or Charlie and they’re your family and friends, too.”
“I don’t…” Dean shook his head and sighed loudly. “Cas there’s a lot more to it than you’d be able to understand, okay?”
“You’ve trusted me with your life many times Dean and not once have I failed you, but you can’t even trust me to explain something to me that immediately pertains to me?” Cas asked. “And since I’ve been human I’ve learned a lot; Come a long way.”
“I know you have. And I’m proud of you, Cas.” Dean smiled, beginning to wipe down the inside of Cas’s thighs.
“But I just want to know, Dean. Why me? Why am I different? Did I do something wrong?” Cas frowned. “Do you think that I’m incapable of performing normal activities on my own?”
“Of course not.” Dean answered.
“But then why, Dean?” Cas pleaded.
“I don’t know, alright.” Dean growled, rubbing more soap on Cas’s leg.
“You know. You just won’t tell me.” Cas sighed.
“I’m sorry.” Dean mumbled.
“Fuck it.” Cas muttered.
Dean immediately whipped his head up and stared at Cas wide-eyed.
“What?” Cas replied.
“Nothing.” Dean snorted, returning to washing Cas’s leg when he realized that Cas had a giant boner from his hand rubbing against his dick with each washing stroke of his leg.
“Sorry…” Cas grumbled, seeing his erection sticking out.
“It’s alright.” Dean chuckled, taking the opportunity to wash the other leg to avoid another awkward situation. “Really. It’s a natural thing and all…”
“I know it is. That doesn’t make it any less weird for you though.” Cas stated.
“It’s not for you?” Dean asked.
“Just because I’m human doesn’t mean the petty things that you – well we – get uncomfortable about due to society and how we were raised affect me.” Castiel replied.
“So nothing about being human has changed your views on anything?”
“I didn’t say that.” Cas said, Dean moving on to begin to clean his lower legs. “Being human has made me see a lot of things – a lot of people – differently than I would have before. I’ve felt things, noticed things, experienced things that I never did as an angel. But the social constructs and things humans are conditioned to feel certain ways about because of the media and social norms don’t apply to me. Because I was never conditioned that way.”
“Doesn’t the Bible say something about being naked and nudity and stuff?” Dean asked.
“You actually believe the bible is a real thing?” Cas smiled.
“It’s not?” Dean raised his eyebrows.
“Of course not. It contradicts itself completely, preaches so much of hate and violence and intolerance, but then says to love everyone regardless, condones vile behaviors, says that women are there for the sole purpose of having children and are weak, and unnecessary. If God didn’t want anyone to see genitals, he wouldn’t have made them in the first place.” Castiel explained.
“Well then where the hell did the bible come from?” Dean replied.
“A long time ago when they needed a really good reason to force their beliefs on the masses. Say something’s the word of God, falsify a little proof, and with no technology to test it, you’ve no choice but to believe it.” Cas said.
“Huh. Why fake that?” Dean moved behind Cas to wash his back.
“To control people obviously. Tell them they’re going to burn alive for all of eternity and they’re not going to do whatever will result in that. The governments of the world still consistently use television, advertisements, politicians, and other things to put ideas into your heads and to control what you think, what you know, what you see, what you hear. Different reason, different method, same intent.” Castiel continued.
“You’d be a good conspiracy theorist.” Dean chuckled.
“With all I’ve seen, I’d be amazing at a lot of things.” Cas mused.
“That is true.” Dean nodded. “Yet you choose to stay with us and ruin your chance at a normal life.”
“I’m never going to have a normal life. Human or angel, I’m going to be hunted eventually. I’d rather have heaven, hell, or anything in between come at all three of us together and be prepared, than endanger innocent people because I wanted to be ‘normal’.” Cas said.
“Is this even what you want?” Dean asked.
“Yes.” Cas stated, turning around on the floor and looking at him. “I want Sam. And I want you. I don’t care about anything else.”
Cas started standing up, letting the water of the shower wash the soap off his back.
“Where are you going? We haven’t done your hair yet?” Dean called.
“I’ll live.” Cas sighed, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around himself.
When Dean came to check on Cas later, he was in his room, napping on top of the blankets on his bed. Dean ran his hand down Cas’s arm and felt the goosebumps on his skin. He retrieved another blanket from his room and brought it back, covering him up. Castiel immediately snuggled into the warmth and moved a little.
Dean turned the bedside light off and gently moved the things off of Cas’s bed so he wouldn’t knock anything over.
“He’s asleep.” Dean said as he went back out into the living area where Sam sat.
“Already? It’s not even dinner time.” Sam replied.
Dean nodded. “Today was probably emotionally exhausting and physically.”
“Yeah probably.” Sam mused. “Poor guy.”
“He’ll be okay. If not a bit grumpy.” Dean stated.
“Is that any usual from him these days?” Sam asked.
Dean laughed as he picked up his beer off the table and opened it to take another sip.
Dean laid awake in his bed, staring up at the ceiling. Light slipped into his room as the door creaked open. The door shut and someone walked across his room. He looked over and saw it was Cas. He was about to say something, but Cas pulled the blankets off of him and put his face up against Dean’s crotch.
“Cas, what the hell are you doing?” Dean scoffed, moving out from under him.
“You’re awake?” Cas choked.
“Of course. You just jumped on me and your face in my dick.” Dean replied. “What are you doing?”
“You were so nice to me today and when I was sleeping you turned off the lights and gave me a blanket so I wouldn’t wake up. I wanted to do something nice for you. And I know how much you appreciate sex so I thought I’d fellate you.” Cas said.
“You wanted to suck my dick as a thank you?” Dean asked.
Cas nodded. “Yes. One small favor for another.”
“Sucking my dick is not small.” Dean smiled, patting the bed next to him for Cas to come up.
“I know your penis isn’t small. I’ve seen you naked.”
Dean started laughing. “That was not what I meant. I meant it’s not just a small favor to do sexual things with people. Sex is something personal and intimate, not like holding the door open for a stranger.”
“Then why do you have so much sex with strangers?” Cas countered.
“Because I can. There’s nothing wrong with that.” Dean said. “Just, you can’t just go touching people as a way of showing gratitude. All these years of watching humanity and you never learned that?”
“What I learned was how much intimate, human touch meant.” Cas said.
“Well…” Dean rolled over to face the former angel. “I am willing to accept a simple thank you.”
“What if I wanted to orally pleasure you for other reasons?” Cas asked.
“Like what?” Dean drawled, raising his eyebrows at him.
“Like that I just simply wanted to.” Cas answered.
“Then that would be a very different conversation for a time that is not the middle of the night.” Dean laughed.
“Why does there have to be a conversation?” Cas frowned. “You want this. You kissed me. I know what it means to kiss someone, Dean.”
“I wasn’t thinking when I kissed you and I’m sorry. I had a lapse in judgement. I was trying to calm you down. I didn’t think you’d actually take anything from it.” Dean sighed.
“Oh.” Cas breathed, quickly clamoring off the bed. “I’m sorry I did.”
“Cas.” Dean called after him, but he ignored him and scurried out of the room. Dean tiredly walked behind him and tried to open the door to his room, but it was locked. He didn’t feel like making a commotion this late at night so he groaned and went back to his room.
The next morning, Dean woke up early. He felt too bad about Cas to sleep well. He put on his bathrobe and walked out of his room. Cas’s door was ajar and he could hear the shower water running from down the hall. Dean went out into the kitchen area and got himself a beer.
“No one ever said it had to be 5 o’clock PM.” He muttered, flipping off the cap and taking a sip.
Dean sat out on the couch in silence, nursing the bottle until the sound of water ceased. He grappled with the idea of going to talk to Castiel then, but he would be naked and that would be weird again. So he waited. He gave Cas a few minutes once in his room before going in after him. Cas had his back turned the door, wearing a loose fitting pair of sweatpants as he tidied up his room.
Dean cleared his throat and Cas stood up and turned around.
“I thought part of human manners was that you knocked before entering a room?” Cas asked.
“Yeah. Usually. But when am I known for having good manners?” Dean smirked.
“I always thought you were rather polite.” Cas mused. “What do you want, Dean?”
“What do I want?” Dean sighed. “Believe it or not, just to talk.”
“Are you possessed?” Cas scoffed. “I’m getting the salt.”
Dean laughed awkwardly. “Not possessed. Just…sorry.”
“For what?” Cas replied, sitting on the bed.
Dean shut the door and sat down next to him. “For…a lot of things. But in particular, I’m sorry that…”
Dean took a deep breath, not wanting to have to actually have to do this.
“That I kissed you and gave you the wrong idea. I should have known better.” Dean finished. “I’m not like that with guys and I’m not like that with you.”
“That’s not an apology. That’s an excuse. Just because I’m only recently human doesn’t mean I don’t understand that much.” Cas replied.
“I’m trying here.” Dean groaned.
“You can’t lie to me, Dean. I rebuilt you from nothing. I know everything about you. I know things you don’t even know about you.” Cas said. “And I don’t need any kind of explanation or apology from you about anything , but don’t think you can come in here and lie to me about something.”
“I’m not lying about anything. I’m telling you the truth.” Dean stated.
“Just stop. If you can’t even be honest to yourself about who you are, you’ll never be able to be honest to anyone else.” Cas sighed.
“What do you mean?” Dean asked.
“There is nothing wrong with being attracted to other men.” Castiel snapped.
“I don’t have a thing for you, Cas!” Dean exclaimed.
“I didn’t say me. I said men. Stop acting like it’s an unnatural, unholy, bad thing.” Cas huffed. “And stop acting like you know nothing about it, because Sam didn’t have to rebuild you from scratch to know that his brother likes more than just females.”
“Sam doesn’t know shit.” Dean said. “And you’re not telling him.”
“Sam flat out asked me if you were having occasion with men.” Cas replied.
Dean stared at him silently.
“When you spend everyday for a decade in a care with the same person, you get to know everything about them. So you can tell when they smell like someone else’s cologne.” Cas explained. “And guess what? Sam doesn’t care. So maybe you should stop dwelling on it so much and worry about one less thing.”
“Sam knows?” Dean asked.
Cas nodded. “And I didn’t tell him anything. He knew anyways.”
“And he didn’t say anything?”
Cas shook his head. “He did not care. He just wanted to know.”
“Are you sure? Because the Sam I know laughs at all the homophobic jokes he hears.” Dean stated.
“When you’re around. So that you don’t suspect that he actually knows. I’ve seen him get into a fist fight once because he stood up for a gay man that was getting harassed.” Cas said. “Take my word. Neither Sam nor me have any care who you choose to sleep with or maybe one day settle down with.”
Dean snorted loudly. “Me? Settle down? Not happening.”
“You never know what the future holds.” Cas replied. “Something might happen. Or somebody. You’d be surprised how much one human can change your entire outlook on things.”
“What if it’s not a human?” Dean asked.
“Well I can promise you that their gender would have no role in my disapproval. I’m not dealing with another Sam Ruby situation.” Sam said. “Especially since I’d be completely useless in helping with it.”
“Okay but what if, hypothetically I did want to…do things with someone that wasn’t human? What would Sam think?” Dean continued.
“I don’t know, Dean. I imagine he couldn’t judge too harshly without being a hypocrite. But I hope it doesn’t surprise you that Sam and I do not have long, intelligent conversations about what we would judge you for. We love you. Nothing will change that. Why is it of concern anyways?”
“It’s not. I’m just…I don’t know.” Dean sighed.
“What was really your intent when you came in here?” Cas asked. “Because we both know you don’t talk about things.”
“This was my intent.” Dean said.
Cas narrowed his eyes at him. “No it wasn’t. Don’t lie to me. You were expecting something from me, weren’t you?”
“No.” Dean replied. “I had no ulterior motive.”
“You always have ulterior motives when doing something you usually don’t.” Cas argued. “What did you want? What did you really want?”
“This.” Dean breathed, quickly bringing his hand to Cas’s face and starting to kiss him.
“Dean.” Cas groaned, pushing him off. “Typically when you apologise to someone for something, you don’t follow it up for doing the same thing again.”
“I apologised for misleading you and giving you the wrong idea.” Dean said.
“What idea is this trying to give me now?” Cas asked.
“The one you thought I was trying to give you before.” Dean muttered.
“You are romantically attracted to me?” Cas looked at Dean skeptically.
Dean nodded hesitantly.
“This would have been much easier if you would have just said that instead of pretending you had no interest at all.” Cas frowned.
Dean looked at Cas expectantly. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“That maybe you should stop repressing your God damned feelings about everything.” Cas replied. “Feelings don’t bite.”
“No but do you?” Dean smirked.
“What?” Cas furrowed his brow and tilted his head in confusion.
“I’m sorry. That went over your head.” Dean laughed.
Cas thought for a moment before his lips parted in realization. “That joke may have gone over my head at first but I can put your legs over yours?”
Dean full on blushed . “Oh.”
“Is that a yes or a no?” Cas asked. “Sam’s alarm doesn’t go off for another 43 minutes.”
“I…” Dean swallowed nervously. “Okay. If you want.”
“I would like that.” Cas said with a gentle smile. “Although I should warn you, I have no idea what I’m doing.”
“That’s okay.” Dean chuckled.
“I’ve seen the videos on the Webernet though.” Cas nodded.
“Internet.” Dean corrected him. “Either on the web or on the internet. Not…” Dean giggled. “Webernet.”
“Stop it. I’m new to technology.” Cas argued.
“Don’t know the word internet, but you know where to watch porn. I like your priorities.” Dean smiled.
“It’s interesting. People are aroused by such funny things.” Cas mused. “What are you around by, Dean?”
“That’s not something you just ask someone.” Dean said.
“Why not? You just agreed to have intercourse with me. Why is it out of line to ask that?” Cas replied.
“It’s usually not something you discuss right off the bat. I don’t know really.” Dean answered.
“Why not? If you’re already going to have sex, shouldn’t you know?” Cas asked.
“Yes, but some people just…are insecure about what they’re into.” Dean said. “I am so glad you never attempted to have sex with anyone before this.”
“Why would you be insecure about telling someone you want to sleep with about things involving sex?” Cas scoffed. “You silly humans make no sense.”
“Some things just require more trust before you talk about them.” Dean stated.
“Are you saying you don’t trust me?” Cas frowned.
“Of course not. Just that, there are reasons people don’t talk about things. Like maybe they’re shameful and are scared that someone might leave them over them.” Dean replied.
“If you truly like someone why leave them over something so petty as what arouses them?” Cas countered.
“Because there are a lot of things that can turn people on. And some of them are…morally questionable and people are sensitive to them and need to care for their partner more before they can truly come to accept that they’re into them.” Dean replied.
“Are you aroused by anything morally questionable?” Cas asked.
“No.” Dean shook his head.
“Then why the hesitation?”
“I wasn’t hesitating on anything. I just said you don’t ask people that right off the bat.” Dean said.
“So? What arouses you, Dean?” Cas repeated.
“I like guys….who use to be angels…” Dean nestled his face into Cas’s neck and began kissing the crook of his shoulder. “Who wear trench coats…and blue ties…who have dark hair…and haven’t shaved in a while…”
“That sounds like you’re describing me.” Cas muttered.
“I am.” Dean grinned, pulling off of Cas’s neck and gently starting to kiss him. Castiel awkwardly tried to hold his hands in Dean’s hair, but Dean laughed and pushed his hands back down to his sides.
“It’s quite refreshing to kiss someone who doesn’t intend to kill me at some point.” Cas said.
“Do you actually want to do this?” Dean asked.
“What? Engage in coitus with you?”
“Yeah. Or are you just doing it because I want it?” Dean replied. “I mean when you were an angel you had no intere–”
“I’m not an angel anymore, Dean.” Cas interrupted him. “Chemicals and hormones and feelings and emotions and sensations, they all affect me now. I’m not just doing this because you want to.”
“You sure?” Dean drawled.
“Yes, I’m sure.” Cas snapped, grabbing Dean’s hand and putting it in his lap. “See?”
Dean laughed awkwardly. “Okay. Just checking.”
Dean took his hand back and laid down on the bed. “Come here.”
Cas moved on top of him, kneeling on all fours above him.
“Wait. Shit. We’re forgetting something.”
Cas crawled off of Dean and Dean got off the bed. “Be right back.”
As Dean scampered out of the room and back to his, Castiel stared down, looking at the tented bulge in his pants. He experimentally stuck his hand down the waistband and slowly touched himself in different place and different ways, making quiet hums of pleasure occasionally. Dean entered the room silently once again and laughed a little.
“I’m not interrupting anything am I?” He asked, holding something in his hand.
“No.” Cas replied, slightly embarrassed.
“Good. Didn’t think your attention span was that short.” Dean smiled.
“What is that?” Cas asked as Dean walked up to the bed again.
“Lube. And a condom. Essentials that you probably don’t have.” Dean said.
“I’ve never had sex before though. Why a condom?”
“Because Lord knows what Jimmy was tapping without wrapping.” Dean snorted.
“Actually I’m sure God has no knowledge nor care for who Jimmy was sleeping with.” Cas stated.
“So even God doesn’t know. That’s a horrifying thought.” Dean laughed, getting back on the bed and laying down, letting Cas climb back to hover over him. “You know how to use one of these, right?”
Cas nodded. “I’ve seen enough videos. I do.”
“Good.” Dean mused, reaching up and loosening the ties on Cas’s sweatpants and then pushed them down so that Cas’s erection was out.
Dean ripped open the package and handed Cas the condom. Cas raised it to the head of his dick and began putting it on, but Dean started laughing at him.
“That’s inside out, dude.” Dean grinned.
“Shut up. I’m a…I don’t even know how old I am in human years… virgin. I have no clue how these things or any of this works.” Cas replied, unrolling the condom the proper way over himself.
Dean smiled affectionately at him. “Okay now open the bottle and put some of that on your fingers. Be generous.”
Cas flipped open the cap on the bottle of lube and squeezed the bottle hard, sending lube all over his fingers and the bed. “Too much?”
“I usually say there’s no such thing as too much lube, but…maybe a little bit there.” Dean said, untying his bathrobe.
“Do I just apply it to your anus and then insert my penis?” Cas asked.
“Cas..” Dean sighed with a smile. “No. I have not had sex with a guy in a while. You’re gonna need to use your fingers first today.”
“Okay.” Cas nodded, Dean bending his knees up so Cas had easier access, revealing he’d taken his underwear off underneath the robe. Cas placed his hand slightly beneath Dean and Dean immediately made a squealing noise.
“Two fingers, Cas. Not all of them.” Dean hissed.
“Oh dammit. Sorry.” Cas said, pulling his hand back a bit and putting just two fingers in.
“There we go.” Dean smiled. “You got this.”
“I got this.” Cas repeated.
“Alright, now do this. Gently.” Dean did a scissoring motion with his fingers.
Cas began moving his fingers in a bit deeper and doing as Dean instructed, opening and closing his fingers a little bit. “This is such an odd feeling. I’ve never felt the inside of a rectum before.”
“You know medical terminology is not the most arousing thing, Cas.” Dean chuckled.
“And putting fingers in people’s assholes is?” Cas smirked.
“I mean in theory, it sounds disgusting, but in practice it’s nice. Right?” Dean asked.
“Well, for you I imagine.” Cas replied.
“What? You don’t like this? I can do it myself?” Dean offered.
“No, it’s not bad. It’s just weird. I’m not getting anything from it. Am I supposed to?” Cas replied.
“Well it shouldn’t be boring.” Dean frowned. “I’m a big boy. Grab more lube and use your dick now.”
“You sure?” Cas looked at him.
“Yes, I’m sure. I’ve done this before. And if you’re not enjoying yourself, then I don’t want to waste time before Sam is up.” Dean said.
“Okay.” Cas hummed, putting some more lube on his hand and slathering it over his cock.
“Hey you got that part right!” Dean smiled.
“Shush.” Cas frowned. “I’m a beginner at this.”
“Okay, hold on. Your hands are full of lube. You can’t touch me.” Dean muttered, putting his legs up on Cas’s shoulder. “Alright, come up so your face it by mine.”
Cas crawled up on the bed so his face was lingering over Dean’s. “Now just go slow and gentle at first, okay?”
Cas nodded, looking down as he aligned himself up with Dean’s ass. He pushed forward, but his dick just slipped from all the lube. A few attempts and stifled laughter later, Cas got properly inside of him.
“This feels really weird. But good weird. But not what I expected.” Cas smiled.
“I’ll take good weird.” Dean chuckled, putting his hands around Cas’s back and softly pulling him forward to get in deeper. Once Cas had eased his way all the way into Dean, he let go and brought his hands up to Cas’s face and started kissing him.
“There. Now all you gotta do is move.” Dean said, moving one hand into Cas’s hair.
Cas began cautiously rolling his hips, going slowly at first but then getting into a steady rhythm.
“Feel nice?” Dean whispered.
“Yeah. Really nice.” Cas breathed. “I like this.”
“I’d sure hope so.” Dean mused, Cas moaning quietly into his ear.
“This is better than I expected putting my penis in your anus would be.” Cas said.
“I’d say the medical terminology isn’t very appealing, but I’ll let it slide because of how much I missed this.” Dean smiled.
“Right. Sorry. I am not used to crude slang.” Cas muttered.
“It’s fine.” Dean smiled, chasing Cas’s lips and kissing him again, moaning into his mouth. “Kind of adorable.”
“You think I’m adorable?” Cas asked.
“Of course.” Dean replied, trailing his lips down Cas’s neck. “I think you’re a lot of things. Like kindof slow. You can go faster now.”
“Oh, I can? Thank fuck.” Cas sighed in relief.
“You could have said something.” Dean mused. “You can fuck me harder, Castiel.”
“You’re right. Crude slang does have a bit of an arousing feel to it.” Cas stated, going faster and changing from gently rolling to rough pounding.
“Hell of a transition there, Cas.” Dean laughed.
“Too much?” Cas asked.
“No. Don’t you worry about that.” Dean chuckled. “You’d be surprise what I can take.”
“What’s this?” Cas panted.
“What?” Dean replied.
“This feeling. I’ve never felt it before.” Cas said.
“What type of feeling?”
“Kinda p-pressure?” Cas answered.
“Oh. Wow I forgot how sensitive people who’ve never had sex are.” Dean laughed.
“What?” Cas furrowed his brow.
“You’re about to come.” Dean grinned, holding Cas’s neck and kissing him roughly, his free hand sliding around Cas’s chest and holding him in the nape of his back.
“About to wha-” Cas started, interrupting himself as he stopped moving and came, shuddering and moaning against Dean.
“That.” Dean mused.
“Was that…Is that an orgasm?” Cas asked.
Dean nodded. “Yeah.”
“Oh my. That’s amazing!” Cas exclaimed. “That feels ecstatic.”
“I know.” Dean hummed. “Go take off the condom and throw it away while you can.”
“What about you?” Cas frowned, still panting. “You didn’t ejaculate yet. Sam will be awake in 10 minutes or less.”
“I’ll be fine.” Dean said. “I’ll be right here.”
Cas quickly pulled out from Dean and took off the condom, carrying it in his hand out of the room. While he was out, Dean quickly began jacking himself off, working to get himself to climax. As he pumped his fist up and down his cock, Cas came back in.
“What are you doing?” Cas asked, concerned. “I can do it. I don’t need you to bring yourself to orgasm.”
“Cas, it’s fine.” Dean smiled. “Really.”
“No. Sex is about doing things together. Not just for one person.” Cas argued, pushing Dean’s hand off himself. “We only have a few minutes before Sam’s gonna be up. What can I do to make you ejaculate?”
“I can do it myself, Cas.” Dean stated.
“But I want to. I want to do this for you. What arouses you, Dean?” Cas demanded.
“I don’t think you want to know the answer to that.” Dean said.
“Yes, I do. I want you to have an orgasm as well.” Cas replied. “I want to know. What can I do?”
“That thing in the closet yesterday…I like that.” Dean whispered.
“Being close to each other?” Cas asked. “Being in the dark?”
“No.” Dean laughed.
“You don’t mean…” Cas trailed off.
Dean nodded slowly. “Yeah.”
“You like to see people urinate on themselves.” Cas said.
“Uh-huh.” Dean replied.
“Okay.” Cas hummed. “I can do that.”
“What? Just like that?” Dean scoffed.
“Sure. It’s what you want.” Cas answered, getting off the bed and pulling his sweatpants back on. Dean sat all the way up as Cas tightened the ties so that the pants stayed up and got back on the bed with him. “Here.”
Cas got up against Dean and started kissing him again, placing Dean’s hand in between his legs and using his own hand to begin pleasuring Dean.
“I promise it’s not as bad when you’re not scared for your life and in public.” Dean smiled.
“That’s okay.” Cas hummed, Dean feeling warmth pass over his hand and run off his skin.
“Wow.” Dean breathed. “Did not think you’d be so complacent.”
“This really isn’t that bad.” Cas said. “In fact, I think I kinda like it.”
Dean laughed into Cas’s neck. “You amaze me every single day.”
“Even as a human?” Cas asked, pulling back.
“Especially as a human.” Dean smiled, grinning and kissing Cas on the mouth while moaning as he came.