someone please help me change my pants!

I had just gotten out of the shower and put ob a pair of pristine white bikini briefs tbe mustvhave been my partners because They were way to tight. I took a moment to squeese everything in I succeeded but there were gaps on both sides where my package stretched the keg bands.
then what I thought to be a fart w as actualy a hefty loose load. I knew immediately thatvi was going to start dripping so I hopped into tHe tub to keepvthe floor clean. I slipped on the wet tub and knocked myself out. When I woke I sitting in a huge pile of slipry poop, myvunder pants are so drty. Made thingscwirse when i scoooedvup some poop andstuffed in the fron of my akreafy tight briefs. I twisted my knee and I can’get get up. Will somone please come help me up and slip my undies off and clean the ooop off of me?!

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