Saving For A Shitty Day

 

One weekend when my spouse was out of town I had the dirtiest time getting clean. I set up a space in the basement where I could ‘let it all come out” and then went about collecting my pee in a beer pitcher. The next day,once the pitcher could hold no more, I kept myself on a strict coffee and donuts diet while abstaining from further peeing or pooping. When I was good and bursting from both front and back I headed downstairs to my new play area. Put on some tight cotton lounge shorts and sat down and thought wet thoughts. Quickly i had a stream of piss going that I could spray on my chest, my shorts, and my legs. I was soaked when my bladder finally registered empty. But I wasn’t empty! I peeled off my sopping shorts, stood up and let my bowels go, dropping a huge pile o poo right in the middle of all my fine pee. From there it seemed obvious that those two fine products of my dgestive system just needed to be mixed up and applied to my body. i rolled in it, I spread it all over my chest, I coated my c#@! and b@s with it till there wasn’t anything much left to use. Then, I carefully cleaned my playspace. By the time i was done I was pretty dry and very dirty. So, up to the bathroom where the pitcher of pee became my wash bowl. I gave all my pissed-and-pooped part a good dowsing of aged pee. Then used my wee-drenched shorts as a wash cloth, recycling as much as I could until was brown-no-more. It was a great day.

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