I had never thought much about diapers, I’d never let myself. Ever since I was a kid I’d had an interest in the taboo subject of wetting. That feeling of need, of desperation and then release had caught my attention ever since an accident when I was very little – it was forbidden and shameful and once my teen years hit it became an exciting idea, but one that I was far too ashamed to tell anyone else about.
All that changed in one night when I took a trip with an old friend of mine, Maggie.
We were young women in our mid 20s, we’d met at university and been good friends ever since, but our lives had drifted and we spent less time together than we’d liked. I’d always had a crush on her, but she’d never shown any interest in women and I never wanted to push the issue, it seemed stupid to risk our friendship over it.
So when the opportunity to travel up to Newcastle to our friend’s wedding came up, I jumped at the chance to travel with her. She would be driving and I’d chip in for petrol. She picked me up after work on the Friday night and we navigated our way out of London and onto the open road. The trip was great, we caught up and chatted non stop for the first couple of hours, I’d brought some music along, a playlist of loads of stuff that we used to dance to back in the day. It was great and It brought home to m just how brilliant it was to be around her.
I hadn’t really been thinking about it, but I’d gotten through a lot of coffee through the day – one of the necessary evils of high-level office work – and as we zipped through the dark on the motorway I realised that I could really use a bathroom break. Unfortunately the thing that brought this to mind was us passing by the first rest stop I’d seen for miles.
I was a bit embarrassed, I’ve always found stuff to do with going to the toilet kind of embarrassing, and I didn’t really want to bring it up. I wondered if I could hold it but it’s a 5 hours trip and I knew that I wasn’t going to get all the way though it without a rest stop. I had to bring it up. I started haltingly, “Ah, Mags. I hate to say it but… could we make a rest stop? I’m somewhat in need of a break and…” Mags actually looked a little uncomfortable for a moment, intensifying my embarrassment but then she laughed and said it wasn’t a problem, but that it might be anything up to half an hour before we found a place.
I squirmed in my seat a little, disguising it as adjusting my pants, but I figured that I could hold on another half an hour. My bladder was pretty full, that ache pulsing across my abdomen, but I was ok, I was in control of it.
We neither of us said anything much for five or ten minutes, it was a little uncomfortable, but then the music came to an end and as I changed it over we got talking again and conversation flowed easy again, the uneasiness forgotten. I could ignore the ache in my bladder as long as there was chat and suitable distraction. We talked about people we’d known, places we’d been out, but my worry grew as the traffic around us started to grow heavier, to get slower. This was definitely not just the usual Friday night traffic, and I noted with alarm that we were steadily coming to a halt. Tail lights stretched out stationary as far as the eye could see.
We turned on the radio and found a station with traffic news, there had been an accident on the road up ahead. This was not good news, not good news at all. We were in the middle of four lanes of stationary traffic in the dark and I reeeeally needed to take a piss. I started thinking of strategies to get me out of this. There was no way I was going to sit here in my friend’s car and wet my pants. I was NOT going to lose control my myself in front of this woman that I respected and who I wanted to respect me.
The traffic was creeping slowly, slowly forward – not enough to be going anywhere but enough that it wasn’t at all safe for me to hop out and take a piss by the side of the road, even if it wasn’t pitch black with hundreds of car-bound spectators. And I was getting desperate. I felt the urge, as I had done when I was a little kid, to put a hand between my legs and hold myself, to pretend to myself that I could somehow hold the pee in with my hand.
I was starting to shift in my seat. The time seemed to be passing more slowly than I could ever remember, the minutes ticking by, taking me ever closer to disaster. It was starting to get obvious, Mags was looking at me with concern, “You really need to… go, don’t you?”. I nodded, grim faced in response. “I’m sure we’ll be moving soon, don’t worry. We’ll roll right into the next rest stop” she told me, but I was not feeling confident. “I’m going to put some more music on, it’ll take me mind off it” She nodded in sympathy, she seemed to understand that I my discomfort would only be made worse by idle chat and I could no longer concentrate on anything much anyway.
Time ticked on, half an hour had gone by and we’d barely covered a mile. I was starting to sweat, red in the face, I was in pain now. Clenching my thighs and jiggling my legs. Squeezing my hands into fists and digging my nails into my palms to try and distract my body from the growing desperation to pee. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I kept feeling the muscles begin to relax and tugging them back into tension, keeping my bladder under control. I was losing the battle.
“It’s no good, I’m getting out. I have to take a piss, Mags, I’m sorry”
“No, loo, you can’t – I can’t get over to the shoulder and if you get out you’ll never find the car again in this traffic. I can’t stop here, I’m so sorry”
“No, fuck, look, I *really* have to go. I’m sorry Mags, I just… I don’ think I can hold it anymore” I said, almost tearful now with shame and desperation.
“No look, ok, don’t worry, I think I have a plan” Mags said, although she sounded… was it nervous? Was she frightened? I couldn’t make much sense of it, and my ability to concentrate on anything much was leaving me. Mags reached behind her and pulled a duffle bag from the back seat, putting it in her lap and pulling it open she pushed her arm inside, feeling around for something in the bottom of the bag.
She took a deep breath, looked me straight in the eye and said “Please, trust me. Just, don’t tell anyone about this? Ok? Just… take this, and *please* don’t mention it to anyone else” before pulling something white out of the bag. Her eyes were pleading as she handed me the clean, folded diaper from her bag. I was totally surprised, but at that point far too desperate to take a piss to care about what she might be doing with such an item in her bag. I took it from her and then looked in confusion – I’d never used a diaper before. I looked at her, unsure what to do. She took the leap, “Look, I’ll look away, you take your trousers and pants down, you open t out like this” she said, opening out the diaper, ” and then you slide it between your legs, this bit at the front. If you can, then tape it on with these bits, but if… well, if you can’t wait, then just pull it up as tight as you can and…” she waved a hand in the air, neither of us wanting to actually say the words to each other.
I looked her in the eye, nodded once and said a very grateful ‘thank you’ before she turned her head away while I reached for my zip. It seemed to take me forever to struggle my trousers off, and the motion of pushing my hips up to pull them down past my ass very nearly opened the floodgates, but I managed to slip the soft plastic of the diaper under by bottom and then sit down in it. I was incredibly nervous, not just because I was naked from the waist and less than two feet away from my good friend, but because I was about to have a wee in her car.
It all felt totally unreal. There I was, carefully tightening this adult diaper awkwardly around my legs, fumbling around with the tapes and fidgeting in the padded plastic, my bladder screaming at me, my thoughts tearing around inside my head while levering myself awkwardly around in the front seat of this beautiful woman’s car somewhere on the middle of England in the dark.
Finally I was done taping myself into the diaper, it was tight around my legs and snug around my belly and my back. “Ok, I’m done. Do I just… er…?” I asked hesitantly, still not at all comfortable with the idea of doing a wee in my friend’s front seat. She was still trying not to look at me, but I saw her eyes dart towards the white bulk of my newly-affixed diaper. As she replied she sounded like she was trying to be casual about the situation, but there was definitely a note of tension in her voice that I hadn’t heard before, and she seemed to be… was Mags blushing?
Whatever it was that was going on with Mags, I couldn’t give it much thought, my mind was far too occupied with the problem at hand. All of a sudden, I was terrified. What if the diaper didn’t work? What if somehow I ended up peeing all down my legs? What if I ended up pissing right into the seat of my friend’s car? I wondered if pulling my pants and trousers back up might help but as I bent forward to hike them up, I realised the decision was out of my hands. I felt a sudden hot jet of pee squirt into my diaper. I froze, eyes wide. The tension in the car rose, you could have cut it with a knife. Mags started to say “Are you ok? Are you…” but she tailed off as I closed my eyes and tried to shut the situation out.
I couldn’t hold it anymore, and I felt myself starting to lose control. I began to piss hard into the diaper, my body tilted forward I could hear it hissing into the soft padding, and Mags could surely hear it too. The feeling of relief was immense, the ache in my lower back beginning to spread and dissipate.
I began to panic and sat back in the seat, lowering my ass into the warm puddle of piss quickly being absorbed by the stuffing, while I tried to clench and close off the flow. “Oh god, what it I? Will it leak?” I gabbled but Mags was quick and firm in her reply “No, no you’re fine, it’s… it’s a good one. You’ll be ok, just… go” and she looked me in the eyes as I sat back, my stricken bladder still spasming and pushing out squirts of pee. All of a sudden I couldn’t take my eyes off her. She was staring at me, her eyes wide and her expression blank as we sat in the no stationary traffic.
I lifted my hips a little bit and relaxed, letting myself gush hotly into the diaper, feeling the fabric swell between my legs as I filled it gratefully. I was filled with a mixture of horror and shame, but also with an unexpected feeling of… was it excitement? There was definitely a thrill to this, to taking a big hot piss not only somewhere other than a toilet but in front of another person. I could feel the pee running, flowing hotly down between my pussy lips and running off of the cheeks of my ass, it was a far more delicious sensation than I’d expected.
There seemed to be no end to my bladder capacity, it just kept on coming and coming, and my breathing was coming faster and shallower as my excitement grew. I sat back down into the seat, the diaper now squishing wetly against my ass, the pee now tricking more gently between my legs, the seat pressing the hot, wet diaper up against my pussy. It was an amazing sensation, unlike anything I’d experienced before, and I was experiencing it all with this amazing friend of mine, her eyes now were moving across my face, her cheeks flushed and her lips parted. She was glancing between my face and the swelling bulk of my soaking diaper as if entranced.
The tricking between my legs came to an end and I felt my shoulders drop, a previously unsuspected tension leaving me at last. I took a deep breath, relaxing back into the seat and the spell between us was broken. Mags looked away, blushing hard and I stared into my lap. I felt awkward in a way that I hadn’t experienced since my teenage years as the reality of the situation came back into focus. The question of what to do now loomed large in my mind. I felt terribly embarrassed all of a sudden, sitting there in a full, wet diaper. I steeled myself and said
“Mags, ok, have you got a bag or something? Because I -”
But she turned quickly to face me and silenced me completely, reaching for my face and kissing me hard, almost savagely, as if she were quenching a long-suffered thirst. I was shocked for a moment, but the urgency of her kiss melted me and I opened my mouth to receive it, my mind blank to everything but the deafening desire that swamped me.