Plumber Cleans His Pipes

“Hand me that wrench” Steve  barked as he squatted beside the toilet trying to tighten the bolts back to the base. Mike reached over and handed his boss the greasy tool and watched as the beefy Pole fastened the toilet back to it’s base. He strained as he worked, his face grimacing, his mouth breathing hard under the thick blond mustache ,a loud fart ripped out as he worked, filling the confined air in the washroom with his day-old gas. Mike shook his head and took it in, unable to get away. He had been working as Steve’s apprentice for two months and was quickly becoming aware that this big Pole was not shy about very much. Steve was a beefy guy with a bit of a gut from too much beer. The paunch in his overalls stretched the fabric as if to make way for something larger below the gut. Mike had often caught a glimpse of Steve’s crotch and wondered just what was down there.

Steve was the kind of guy that sauntered into the truck on Monday morning bragging of his weekend, “I ate myself a whole lot of pussy this weekend…” or “I laid some Polish pipe this weekend”, then he’d usually fart and stink up the cab and try to blame it on Mike who still uncomfortable with it all. Today this was their last job. They were alone in a house in suburbia, a private client who had left the key and orders for a new toilet. With old one dismantled and the new one in place, Steve gave the orders to gather the tools and said, “Well let’s test this baby out”. Working to gather their thing Mike stopped short when he noticed Steve undoing his overalls and settling his wide ass on the brand new toilet seat, “What the hell man, I’m still in here?” Mike stammered as Steve ripped out a fart into the toilet, “What’s the matter you never seen another guy take a shit? – I gotta go before we leave” and with that he grimaced and pushed what sounded like a monster into the bowl with a series of loud farts and splashes, the air became heavy with the scent of shit. Mike picked up the last tool and stopped to see Steve leaning forward to check out his load in the bowl, he pulled back and opened his legs pushing his ample privates aside, “Check out the size of this one” he said laughing as he wadded toilet paper in his hand and lifted his cheek to wipe. Mike caught a glimpse of the log that was in the bowl, about a foot long and about 4 inches thick, it’s head protruded out of the water, a solid thick log of shit. “Whew that feels better man” Steve said as he stood. Mike noticed the thick dark blond bush hooding the limp uncut cut that reminded him of the log he had just seen in the bowl. “I don’t go often but when I do it’s a doozy”

Mike returned home that night wondering just why Steve was so unabashed about dumping and farting, why couldn’t Mike be like that, after all, he was a guy too, he took big shits, he farted, he stank up rooms. Next day, Mike proved a worthy opponent. They were replacing the toliet in a public department store. The door was locked and the two worked until the problem with the plugged toilet was cleared. “Hey let’s give it a test ride” Mike suggested, “Naw don’t have to, I told you I don’t go that often-that’s why my farts stink” Steve chuckled as he stopped to pick up the tools, “Stand aside man” Mike said undoing his overalls, putting his athetic butt on the seat and farting loudly. Steve stopped, “Hey man, close the door, I don’t wanna see your privates”. Mike laughed as he pushed his monster into the bowl.  He finsihed up quickly wiped his ass and they were on their way. “You stink man” Steve said as they left the store.

The next few days Steve was quiet, even his farts stopped. He went about his work and grumbled a lot. Mike wasn’t sure but he felt as if he’d won some sort of pissing match between them, who could shit harder. By the last day of the next week it was becoming clear to MIke that Steve had given up daily hygiene as well. Steve’s strong man-scent was growing stronger everyday. His pits reeked and his crotch gave off a strong scent that mike couldn’t place…ripe cheese maybe. That morning Steve picked Mike up at his parents house before worked as he usually did. “We got a job downtown this afternoon. Its a fuckin’ Friday which means we’re late gettin’ home, which puts me in a worse mood” Steve grumbled as they drove the freeway. “Hey my mom packed a lunch for both of today, she made that lasagna you like”, Mike offered. Steve stared straight ahead, “Just what I need, more cheese”, That’s for sure, Mike thought. “I haven’t had a shit in days which is making me like an angry bear – I got a belly full of food and can’t even muster out a few farts, and it better come today cause I am gonna lay pipe tonight and I need an empty gut to do it” That morning at coffee Mike offered Steve a cookie from a tin his mom had made. “Try one, my dad calls them bowel busters, he has a terrible time withe dumping regularly. He swears by them” Steve took one, then another and finally five later, finsihed his coffee and they set back to work.

That afternoon on the 26 floor of a business tower they worked to fix a clogged sink in an office kitchen. Most of the staff was gone and the instructions were to leave the invoice on the desk and leave. The door would lock automatically. With the job almost done, Steve’s mood was getting better. He smiled at Mike, his thick mustache curling up and let an enormous fart ripped through the room. “Wooeee things are looking up” he said fanning the air, looks like daddy gonna drop a load. Mike took in the thick air in the room and fanned in front of his nose, “Ya better move fast cause I have one ready to go as well, a whopper” He farted a silent hiss into his shorts and grabbed his gut, “Its gonna be like giving birth” The two left the kitchen, tools in hand and look around for the office can. Locked office was all they found. They left the invoice and headed out down the hall feeling for sure a public space would have a public can. They found a men’s room, a placard on the door stated, get key from receptionist. “You think you can make it home?” Steve asked, “Do we have a choice?” They grabbed the elevator and headed back to the truck. “Given the size of the monster in my ass it ain’t going anywhere til I give it a monster sized push anyway”

The cramps came on strong. They were half an hour into their hour long commute back to suburbia, in the middle lane of 5 lanes of solid, jammed packed stopped Friday night traffic. “Maybe this wasn’t so good an idea” Steve chuckled as he lifted hi cheek and blatted out a fart almost involuntarily. Mike squirmed in his seat feeling the pain in his guts and opened a window for air. The two had been blatting and ripping out farts for fifteen minutes now. They had gone quiet as each of them faced a desperate need to shit. “Not sure what to do here son” Steve said in an almost fatherly way, “I got to take a shit right now and there ain’t no where for me to go”, Mike doubled over afraid of letting go “I think we ate too many of those cookies, I have never had to shit like this before” Mike opened the window further and contemplated putting his ass out the window. “Try and let the farts out, it will take off the pressure” Steve suggested. The two sat moaning, the occasional fart ripping out which would be followed by a grimace or a moan of utter desperation. Steve looked over to Mike, lifted his ass off the seat and said, “I think we’re in real trouble here” he hissed out a fart followed by a blatt and closed his eyes, “I think “i am touching cotton now” Steve chuckled. Mike laughed and with that farted and let the monster go, he lifted off the seat and felt it fill every crevice of his shorts feeling the shame and humiliation grow in his cheeks, “Hole shit man I’m losing it in my pants”, farted a series of wet farts at the crap seeped into every space in his groin. “Oh man, don’t worry, that makes….” and with that Steve lifted his cheek and blasted a load of shit into his shorts which was followed by mounds of hard shit punctuated with ripping farts. He grunted and sighed , he too filled with shame “I haven’t shit myself since I was a kid man” he moaned as he settled back into the growing pile in his pants.”Fuck I can feel it on my privates” The cab of the truck now smelled like a an old men’s room. “I can’t go home like this man” Mike said, holding back tears, “Not to worry, we’ll head to my place first, you can get clean overalls, shave a shower then I’ll take you home” They sat in silence, feeling their asses settle into ample piles of hot shit as the traffic started to move forward.
To Be Continued

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  1. Very nice, dude. I’m going to have to come up with another one to try to top this. I’m up for the challenge.

  2. dude……..i wonder what it was like to be their underwear. bet it was hot as hell.

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