Well this is rather embarrassing, I will only admit this in cyberspace, and it is not something to tell my friends. This is the first time I have been caught with the goods in public. Horrors, read on…
Before heading out to the dance club last night I ate a HUGE amount of pepperoni pizza, figured if I didn’t pick anyone up, I might have a planned ‘accident’ walking home. All well and good, no harm there?
Well the music at the dance club wasn’t that great -it was frankly awful- and my friends were being dick heads, not to mention ‘substances’ involved. I don’t like being cruised by drug addicts, and the bartenders had enough attitude to make Oscar Wilde blush. I was pissed off, this was not a good night. And I wasn’t in the mood for all the fucking lights…
Around midnight I walked over to a quiet bar a few blocks away to realign myself. I ordered a drink, flirted with the bartender a bit, flirted with a few customers, and ordered more drinks.
Then I had to pee… really badly. I went into the loo, unzipped my jeans and pissed a torrent. But the pizza was knocking at the back door, and for some reason -I was admittedly drunk- I let it go in my pants. It was a big one, accompanied by that typical crackling sound as the solids fell into my briefs.
I zipped up my jeans only to turn around and to my horror saw that this cute little boy had watched it happen! He was rather mortified, and in a trembling voice said ‘you just shit your pants!!’
I feigned ignorance and sheepishly said ‘oops’. I promptly exited the loo, finished my drink in one large gulp, put on my coat and left for fear I might see him again.
It was a mile walk home with the load -I was not about to take a taxi- getting home I was amazed at how much I had filled my briefs.