I started doing this in my early teens. Before that, I’d experimented with wetting myself, and I’d also had a few genuine poo accidents, none of which turned me on at the time- in fact, they were horribly embarrassing. I’d also developed a habit of crossing my legs and holding back, which felt really nice- basically prolonging the feeling of needing to poo for up to an hour- before hobbling to the toilet, pulling my pants down and letting go.
Many times I’d leak a bit while doing this, and even though I used to try and pull my underpants away from me, I’d often end up with very dirty underwear, even though I hadn’t officially had an accident. I used to clean and rinse my pants out in the bathroom and hide them under the mattress to dry, like I did when I wet myself. So I was already used to the idea of soiled underwear, and what I needed to do to keep it a secret. I guess it was only a matter of time before I went the whole way and completely pooped my pants…
I remember it was a sunny afternoon and everyone else was out. I liked the feeling of being all alone, whether at home or in the woods near my house, and it often brought on the need to poop, which was how I’d discovered my leg-crossing game in the first place. So there I was, in my bedroom, sometimes with my legs crossed, sometimes going up and down the stairs to get a glass of water or a magazine. Of course this had already made my pants quite dirty, and I could feel them sticking to me.
But today, instead of worrying about how I was going to get them clean, I decided to throw caution to the winds. Nobody was going to be back until the evening, so I had plenty of time to clean up. I knew how messy it was to poop your pants, because of those accidents I had had in years gone by. Even though the memory of them wasn’t too pleasant, something inside me was telling me to do it again, but this time on purpose. I was safely at home, so no-one would see me and make fun of me.
I felt the urge to poo coming on again, so as usual I crossed my legs and held back, gasping with the pressure of keeping it in. And all of a sudden, while the pressure to poop was still very high, I just uncrossed my legs. Wow! The moment I did that, a pile of hot, soft poop surged into my underpants. And then another. It was just like having an accident, only better! I was wearing jeans, and I could feel them resisting the pressure, and everything spreading out in the seat of my pants. Upwards towards the waistband, and forwards between my legs. And it was so hot and squishy!
I remember standing there stunned, realising I was very turned on. I put my hand on the back of my jeans, amazed at how big the bulge was. I remember prodding it, and feeling the mess escape the legbands of my pants and start sliding down the inside of the legs of my jeans. That’s when I got a bit nervous and started walking towards the bathroom. I really liked the squishy feeling and the way it all felt so out of control- the huge mess in my pants changing shape with every step I took, and the way it was beginning to roll down my legs.
However, because I was nervous, I’d started to lose my erection, and that made me realise I was dying to wee. I remember I’d started wetting my pants and I was concentrating on gingerly climbing into the bathtub, and once I was standing in there, this enormous second sense of relief as I just stood there and completely wet my pants. Unfortunately, because I hadn’t really planned all of this, I hadn’t taken my shoes and socks off. And now I was peeing into them. So I had to kneel down and untie my laces etc while I was still peeing. Of course in this position everything squished around even more, and I was peeing right through my poop, my underpants and my jeans.
Once I was barefoot, I remember standing up again and just standing there, bicycling my legs and sort of squirming, feeling the wet, poopy mess squishing against my skin and my soaking jeans clinging to my legs. I was really turned on. Then I started to wonder what my underwear looked like. When I’d had the real accidents, I hadn’t exactly admired myself in the mirror- I’d wanted to get those pants off as soon as I could, and all I’d seen was on the inside, when I was taking them off- a horrible brown mess all over them.
Fortunately there was a hand mirror within easy reach. There was a proper mirror in the bathroom as well, but I coudn’t see myself in it standing in the bathtub. I pulled my jeans down to my knees and grabbed the hand mirror. OMG! The seat of my underpants was a sight! Needless to say, a huge brown stain had soaked through, spreading up almost to the waistband. I was wearing white underpants, so you can imagine what that looked like. Loads of mess had escaped the legbands and there were big brown smears down both legs. I didn’t need a mirror to look at the front of my pants, but they were now a greyish-yellow colour, soggy with pee, and I could see the poop oozing out at the front as well. So this is what it’s like to have a complete accident in your pants! I was amazed, trembling, and very turned on. I won’t go into detail as to what I did next, but let’s just say I had a wonderful orgasm, and the cleanup was terrible!
However, that little episode was the start of a truly addictive fetish, which I enjoy to this day.