How my love of poop came to be

Once when I was little, I ate a lot and I mean a lot of pistachio nuts and got really constipated. I was so constipated that every time I tried to go I would cry. I turd had gotten really really really wide. It was agony. My mom and dad tried to help me as much as they could but it was no use. Finally they decided to give me an enema. I was told to bend over and they put this thing in my rear. It was awful. They told me to hold it in for a while, which I didn’t do as long as I should have I think because when I went to the toilet to try again, it was the worst pain ever!! I was crying and my mom tried to grab the turd and yank it out. Finally after “giving birth” to the turd, I looked in the toilet and was amazed. My parents never saw anything like it either. It was huge! It was no wonder I had such a painful time getting it out. I never ate that many nut again. It’s thanks to this experience that I love constipation.

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  1. Great story. Can I give you two kilograms of pistacchio so that you give birth again? 🙂

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