HELP! Is it time to become a real big boy or should I delay it?!

This is what happened to me yesterday.

As most of u know it: I’m a diaper lover for many years now and I have been wearing diapers or training pants for fun 24/7 for more than a year and I have been using them for their intended purpose very fully! And this is what I wanna change!

For short I took the decision to move to the Netherlands and settle there in order to start a real new life not involving diaps.

A very close friend of mine lives in Amsterdam in a big house with room mates. As I told him about my project, he said: well, the lonely thing you need to do is to buy your tickets and an inflatable mattress; I will provide you the accommodation. No worries!

Sure he knows about my special like, but he often teases me in a gentle way with this diaper thing. I told to myself that at age 33, almost 34, it should be time to leave my diaps and finally become a big boy! I will be so proud of myself to travel without any diap and spend the whole trip as a big boy, only wearing sexy boxers and briefs.

I have been giving tries for 14 days and till now, no accident, even at night! So proud of me! This is always the problem when you use to wet and mess your diaps no matter where ever you are; you do it and know that you are protected! Nobody knows it or even notices it and it makes you happy to feel everything in your crotch area: so nice and comfy!

The lonely thing which annoys me now is to have some precum spots on my undies or pants for everyone to see, which is hard to hide most of the time! I’m someone who easily can get aroused even by simple thoughts, like a teenager would! A good looking woman passing by and you can be sure that I get a stiff or feel some precum invading my boxer! Boys, you know for sure this warm wet nice feeling! A friend of mine called me “a lubricant company”! As he woke up at home last time, in my bed, he asked me if I have wet the bed because he saw a large spot on the sheets! Not at all: it was only my night production of lubricant! I was too excited, like almost every night! Maybe I should have more sexual encounters to fix that!

Yesterday I went to a shop and bought the requested inflatable mattress.

As I went to the cashier, I heard my stomach gurgling. But I didn’t care. I felt some belly cramping and thought I only needed to loosen a big fart. I paid for the mattress and went to my car. On the way forwards, I decided to fart, without even thinking I had no diaper on and let it out. OMG: I pushed just a little and I only heard a small fart but it was too late! Within a few seconds a releasing big wet fart came out and I had it all in my briefs. On one hand it made some good but on the other one I could feel a kinda runny shit spreading between my bum cheeks and running to my legs! Disgusting! I couldn’t help it. I felt really embarrassed as I realized that I didn’t wear any diap and the big spot might show on my short and legs for everyone to see. Fortunately for me, there was nobody behind me who could see it. Second problem was to sit in my car: in a close past, I always had diapers in my car as well as Pampers towels, but because I’d like to become a real big boy, I have thrown everything away (at least from the car!). Then I had to sit in my car with a soiled short. I hate this wet and smelly feeling. And I don’t like to soil my sport car in such a way.

As I drove back home, I felt this big wet spot becoming cold. It was awful! And as soon as I arrived home, I ran to the lift, with the hope that nobody would be in and for God sake, nobody was in. I had a look in the mirror and saw a large brown spot on my bum area and a long brown and deep green skid down to my right leg. I felt so ashamed: I, almost 34, trying to act as a big boy I am, messed my boxer and short in public.

Now I’m wondering how I will stand my 10 hours long bus trip to Amsterdam without any diap. I am a bit scared, I have to admit it. And what about my everyday life in Amsterdam? My friend knows my diaper issue and despite his constant gentle teasing and joking; he has no problem with it, as long as I don’t run in the flat only dressed by a diap. But if I want to be the real big boy I am, and if I soil his furniture  just because I am not properly potty trained, what would he say?! Would he force me to be back to my diaps as long as I can’t stay dry and clean?! I guess it would be a fantasy of mine but this is not the aim! I wanna become the big boy I am! No diap any more!

Is it really time for me to leave my diapers? Should I delay my potty training? Or should I consider it as an accident, which is the case? But do big boys have such accidents? And in the bus? There are almost 10 hours to spend sat. OMG, how will I manage to keep my bladders and bowels? Maybe I should wear a diap only for the bus trip and act as the big boy I am in Amsterdam without any diap. Other solution: just in case of such an accident, I should wear some line boosters in my briefs. But in that case, my challenge would fail! And do big boys wear line boosters in their briefs?! I’m feeling scared and would really like to take control again! After all, I had only one accident in 14 days. What would you recommend?!

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Responses

  1. I would recommend training pants. It’s difficult to go from diapers to briefs, Ask toddlers. Take it slow and build up to potty training ^-^

  2. >Aleksi: thank u for the advice! I think that’s a responsible solution!
    A friend of mine recommended me to wear a big thick diaper with a line booster just because toilets on the drive are so crappy! And he added: DL one day, DL everyday!… I never had accidents at night in my diaps and I don’t see why I should have one without any diaper! Then I can sleep in the bus without fearing for a leak! The lonely point is if I feel the urge to run a pee or more (…) and the bus is on drive! I don’t know why but I’m pretty sure that the driver won’t stop the bus just because of me! I think I will wear a diap on the bus just in case, but for instance, I’m still wondering which one: a big and thick with a line booster or a training pant?! My last Daddy used to insert me a suppository before bedtime or as a punishment and I guess I would do that to me tonight! And in that case, a big and thick diap would be necessary! OMG, this is so difficult to leave my diaps!

  3. I would weare one on the buss ride, but I would try to ease up on messing the dips, as shiting in a pair of tight tighty whites is so much better,

    also takw a chance and squat outside,

  4. So proud of me: Finally I wore a Drynite on the long bus drive, just in case! And I had no accident. I am spending almost a week without any diap! OMG: it is so difficult when u don’t use to it! I haven’t wear any diap for more than a week: me big boy! I went to a free party in A’dam on last saturday and I had a lil accident: I wanted to loose a discreet fart but I felt it was coming out of me very slowly and I could hold it fortunately for me. Today I bought some diaps for overnighting: I drank too much and I fear for leaks! Challenge went broken!

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  6. I think you should carry on wearing you diapers. Why resist something you are? You can be a big boy and still poo in your pants. As you say, no one judges you so why change the lifestyle you have had for so long? Do you still enjoy the feeling of filling up your diaper?

  7. >AMD73: I know for sure I could live normally with my fucking fetish, but I have to admit that very slowly it replaced my sexual activity! And that bothers me! I still do have fantasies involving women in special outfits (other fetishes!…) but because I would like to marry a woman one day and generate children, it sounds very difficult to combine that all! How would you explain to your children that Dad still wears and uses diapers, just because of a sexual arousement?! Therefor I wouldn’t accept getting seen by any woman when I’m diapered! Diapers for me only involve some activity among men! But you know me and my thread so well that I don’t need to discuss that here! XXX, see u soon!

    >Hothunk85: I consider myself a kinda bi-curious! More straight than anything else! And sharing my fetish with someone else can only involve a man for me. I’ve been loving my diaps for so many years, sure; and I have collected lots of male partners (mostly daddy/big bro types) to share my fetish with. Now because I’m a single for too long, it seems easier (and it is a matter of fact, it is!) to grab a man than a princess (…). And that’s what I have been proceeding! My point is that I replaced my sexuality by this fetish. If you take into account that I have always wanted to build up a family (including woman and children), it is really difficult to achieve if I only spend my time at looking for daddy or big bro types! This is why I thought about leaving my diaps, so to say, becoming a big boy, and finally keep my target as a focus to be able to achieve! But leaving my diaps is really difficult for me! I could replace them by snug briefs and boxers and retro shorts: I promise I already tried several times, but I still fantasize on filling up diaps and getting jerked off and spanked by a manly man! And I wouldn’t be able to share this fetish with a woman: I already tried it as well but unsuccessfully! I had no fun everytime I tried! And according to me a well-balanced life is a life which includes sexuality, which is not really the case for me now! I hope I could answer your questions! Kind regards.

  8. This fetish did not replace your sexuality, its just the entree in your smorgasboard as a sexual being. The lubrication events prove you are stimulated by many things. You don’t need to marry to make a baby, its biologically unnecessary. There are females who get turned on by acting the mommy to adult baby boys that need diapers. There are males who get turned on by acting the daddy role. Through diligent searching you may find both, and of course there is always transexuals and hermaphrodites which could offer the best of both worlds. If the female is unwilling or infertile (or you turn out infertile) there seem to be thousands of unwanted children starving for your love and affection. The idea of what you can and can not do with a man or woman is all in your head, its not "real life". Humans never cease to amaze me with their range of versatility. If you do get a wife and child you don’t need to tell them you are aroused by diapers, you can claim sphincter control problems. My advise would be watch the film Hedwig and the Angry Inch a few times and continue exploring the world of sexuality and human relationships.

  9. I agree with peestain. It’s difficlut for me to understand that you want BOTH to be in diapers and NOT to tell it to your future wife… I know that fetishism is always the stronger (I can no longer live without my rubber boots on, that’s true!) than the sexually (gay or straight or bi). About your children : why would they have to know that you wear diapers (it’s easier to hide than wearing rubber boots, as I do ! ;o) ?? Your future wife, yes; and, as says peetsain, the best way is to tell at the very beginning of your relationship. So, don’t be too intricated in your mind… ;o) Stay diapered if you like it…

  10. > skalboots: first of all thank you very much for reading my stories and trying to gimme some help in understanding my pov! I have to say that concerning my fetichism it includes not only diapers but a man, at least a manly spanker and wanker, kinda perv Daddy type! This is all my point! Then I can’t imagine going into a wedding, having children with my wife and besides (potentially hidden) getting spanked and diapered and jerked off by a man! I think that would be kinda cheatting my future wife. Sure I could tell her that I need diapers for medical xy reasons, but how could I explain her that I need a man to play with me?! Sure it may seem a bit intricated, I have to stand for that, but for instance, I have to admit that I can’t find a solution! Whether I decide to leave my diapers and become a real big boy and begins leading a classified and classical life, what I did before without any problem; or I keep playing with my diapers and men and from time to time involving a woman to have real sexual activities. My second solution seems to be not so satisfying because I can’t imagine going on living without creating my own family! Like some of us, I need to give love and generate some children on Mother Earth and can’t imagine a manly woman playing with me diapered. I wouldn’t accept it! Now you exactly know what I meant! But in the meantime, I became softer with the theme: I have used to play with men and I have forgotten real sexual activities and my desire for love and parenting! And it works but for how long still though?! Let’s see how I will solve it later: I need to take my own time to really make up my mind very deeply about that!

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  12. Je trouve cela très courageux pour ma part je ne fait que fantasmer je n’ai jamais essayer de porter des couches même si j’ne rêves depuis longtemps , et je me demande si ton message ne me feras pas changer d’avis . Car je pensais que les ABDL été surtout "Gay" mais moi je pense ne pas l’être donc je suis dans le doute , amis tu me redonne espoir car moi aussi je veux me marier et fondé une Famille .

  13. >Secrxt: Pour être honnête avec Toi, je dois bien reconnaitre que j’ai partiellement échoué avec mon potty training! Je vis désormais à Berlin et je m’étais juré que je ne porterai plus de couches et que je ne me laisserai plus donner la fessée par un homme: j’ai tout faux! Depuis presque un an, je vis ici et je continue à porter des couches 24/7; je fréquente aussi des bars à mecs et je suis en constante recherche de Daddys potentiels! Heureusement pour moi, Berlin est la ville du célibataire et trouver quelqu’un pour s’envoyer est facile, femme ou homme. Ainsi, à défaut de fonder une famille pour le moment, je collectionne malgré moi les aventures féminines et les fessées masculines! J’ai trouvé le moyen d’acheter 10 paquets de couches, juste avant mon déménagement définitif, ainsi, je suis assuré de vivre au sec pendant quelques temps! Mais est ce bien raisonnable, est ce vraiment ce que je voulais; je ne suis pas sûr! Sans compter que les soirs où je pars en quête de femelle, ça me fait bizarre de ne pas porter de couches; je dirais plutôt, ça me fait presque peur! Difficile de perdre une habitude! Je vis à +- 35 minutes du plein centre vivant, et je peux garantir que lorsque je pars pour de la femme, je m’assure de m’être bien vidé avant, sur le pot, comme un Grand! Mais, combien de fois est ce déjà arrivé que machinalement, au volant, dans un bouchon, je me dise que la couche est là pour ça et je me lâche dans mn pantalon avant même d’avoir réalisé que justement, je ne porte pas de couche présentement, mais un slip ou un boxer. 9a ruine une bonne partie de ma soirée et me coupe souvent l’envie d’aller baiser. Bref, comme une drogue, la couche est -pour moi- devenue une addiction avec laquelle je n’aurais jamais du commencer; malgré tout les plaisirs qu’elle me procure encore. Courage à Toi, si tu arrives à t’amuser, sans en devenir accroc, au point même de presque remplacer ta propre sexualité. Un de mes lecteurs me conseillait d’aller justement chercher ma rouste auprès d’un homme, lorsque j’ai un accident pendant mon second potty training; mais à ce moment là, que ce soit une vraie rouste et non un jeu à tendance SM. Je commence à trouver ça dangereux pour mon intégrité physique (déjà que psychique, ça n’est pas gagné!).

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