Sometimes I think I may be the only person on the planet with my particular fetish. I’m not an adult baby. I’m not into infantalism or age regression. I’m not into bondage. I’m not into playing with shit or tasting it. I’m not even into the feeling of pissing or shitting myself. What I am into are plastic backed disposable diapers. They have to be white, or mostly white, or a least a solid pastel color like light blue. They also have to be the kind where the padding covers your whole butt. I love the little tapes. I love the feeling of the smooth plastic and the little wrinkles that form every time you move. They’re the most beautiful thing an adult can wear. They’re more beautiful than any pair of underwear or panties ever made. Here’s the paradox: even though I think they’re beautiful and soft and cuddly, I love to watch them get destroyed. It breaks my heart and turns me on all at the same time. What happens to the poor little diaper is so cruel. We soak it. We stain it. We fill it with poop. Then we sit in it and the poop gets mashed into the diaper. The diaper really starts to stink. I’m normally not turned on by that smell, but the smell turns me on when it’s coming from a disposable diaper because I know it’s being destroyed. I love to watch the plastic stretch when someone forces a big load into the back of their diaper. I love to see the frilly little leg cuffs all stained brown when the diaper starts to sag. Then in our final act of cruelty, we take it off and we throw the poor little diaper in the trash! Sometimes I even tear up when I see pictures of piles of stinky diapers overflowing out of a trashcan, or when I watch someone change a dirty diaper. They laugh about how bad it stinks as the roll it up and squash the poop into the diaper. Then they tape it shut. I wish I could rescue it. I wish I could take it somewhere where nobody could ever hurt it again. I would kiss it and sniff it and cuddle it. I also love the fact that it’s what they’re made for. Diapers are supposed to stink. Nobody feels sorry for the diaper. Nobody feels guilty for destroying something so beautiful. I truly love dirty stinky disposable diapers and nothing in this life will ever change that.