idk why im doing this but here it goes to everyone out there who cares im going through some bad shit i know i have talent and wish just wish maybe just maybe someone somewere will see this and say hey this guy has something we need to have the world hear. hi im joey im 21 and my mom died of pancratic cancer ever since then it has been a deperesion battle for me drinking smokeing druging myself up to think im fine for the past year thats what iv been doing this year i stopd drug useing drinking very little smoking not much what i have to say is i need some help and i know i can do good i love people people are amazing and im alone in this fight and have lost so many people i just want someone who i can tell in there voice who is there for me and stuff and i would love to help people i have gone to some dark places in my mind and i got out now im stuck in this one were i cant tell were i am i wake up thinking yay my mom didnt die but then my eyes open and im here in a different house were i feel unwanted and just like i need to get away from my life before my mom passing was fun and happy now i put on my fake smile and life and go along for this ride we call life and what i no see if life is a two road thing and im not even on any road i made my own path and its killing me im becoming self destrutive and just wanting to see the word burn and have me alone forever just me and none eles i wish just wish maybe ill find someone or even something to help me

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  1. sorry for the sad and untimely loss of ur mom and that ur going through such a painful, dark, depressed and lonely phase of ur life right now.
    the toughest part is figuring urself out, developing a positive and constructive mindset, and finding a healthy direction and path to move forward along to lift urself out of the deep ditch ur in.
    try and find positive people around u who can be role models and sources of inspiration to u in ur life to associate with and who u can learn and grow from (friends, acquaintances, relatives, people in the community etc).
    its obviously also crucial that u finish educating urself with either a career or vocation so that u can have a source of income to sustain and support ur living needs.
    be disciplined, focused, and directed in what u do. budget ur money and invest it in urself to grow. dont waste it on drugs, cigarettes, and drinking to help cope with emotional pain and self pity.
    figure out ur strengths and talents and a way and place that u can apply them. even if it means volunteering in the beginning, hopefully that could be a step in the door towards a paid position or sponsorship toward furthering ur education.
    always have a sincere and solid work ethic, and be humble and appreciative. become confident in ur skills, abilities, and experiences as u acquire them, but dont get cocky and arrogant and repel and turn off people from u.
    become independent and self sufficient and hopefully that will b able to boost ur self confidence and inner strength to know that u can survive and hopefully thrive and succeed. of course, also try and help others where u can along the way. but dont spread urself too thin that it interferes with ur ability to improve and advance urself.
    i dont know how religious a person u r, but many people also turn to religion for help as well.
    my mantra in life is moderation, variety, and balance.
    i know advice is easy to give but hard to implement, but hopefully these words of encouragement help u towards finding a more positive mindset and figuring out a positive path to move forward along.
    good luck and i hope u find ur way, peace, love, and success.

  2. no one can help us, but our selves =/ , welcome to my world, was ripping and running since I Was 14, finally stopped about 3 years ago, to lay waste to about 6 suicides/ods (@ close family memebers) and a close family member dead from cancer , basically had nothing, and have had nothing, still have no idea why I’m here, or what I’m doing sober, but yeah…I can’t really offer much advice honestly lol cause i still stuggle with it,but I can tell you this, there isn’t a fix, there isn’t magic cure, DONT REILE ON A PERSON FOR SURE thats the worse ( as in like realtionship wise trying to fill gaps) best thing you can do if your able is to find any kinda work, no matter the pay, and keep busy, thats about it honest answer, time helps they say .. but yeah, live it , breath it, totally understand, People never understand, they just think your lazy or making up excuses , or attention seeking, but sometimes you just break and have to spill yourself, the struggle is real, I’m sorry if this isnt helpful but yeah ^_~ , if you want someone to talk to, I’m around ( I hate how fin slow this site is although) but I understand your pain/mindset , 100%, it started for me in the 7th grade lol, tried so many things, drugs DID NOT HELP, nore did being co depedent ( which I still struggle with too lol), it comes from US 100%, and friends being there if you have any true non using friends, its the best advice I can give I’d kill to be working any kinda job right now ^_^. good luck Joey.

  3. I lost my mom when I was your age as well. We were close and it took a long time for the hurt to pass. I was alone with no family support. I realized my days of picking up the phone and asking for advice about life was over. Believe me buddy it will pass. You will never forget about her and one day you will find peace and the ability to keep her alive in your heart. Please man, find some professional help. Don’t go through this alone. You may even benefit from anti-depressants. They don’t take the pain of loss away, but if your drug use has led to a chemical imbalance they may help you get past that as well. Please keep writing-you can even e-mail me on this site. Sometimes it is helpful just to “talk” about it with somebody who has been there!

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