I am really vocal when I shit. It’s involuntary. I’ve always been this way and never understood how people could poop WITHOUT making a noise. Some of this might stem from my lifelong problems with constipation. I travel a lot for work and this also messes with my bowels. I often won’t feel the urge to shit until a day or two, sometimes more, passes. Then, usually when I’m in an airport, or on some interstate highway, the urge hits me hard. It’s never when I’m back to my hotel room, or home. I usually need to find an empty stall in a row somewhere and just PUSH…without thinking about where I am and who might be listening. As far as Im concerned, once I’m on a toilet then I’m there for one purpose: shitting. My shits don’t usually come easy.
When the urge hits, I need to sit down and start pushing. Im never usually at the point of crowning when this happen. It always takes work. Once on the toilet, my hole reflexively starts to open, and then comes more waves of intense, involuntary urges to push with loud grunts. After a few of these pushing waves I’ll feel and hear a massive nob move. I have tunnel vision throughout this process. It’s hard to care about who hears me…I can barely talk.
I became more aware of this when I found myself in a situation shitting next to a coworker. We’re both young professionals in our mid-30s. Not only do we physically resemble each other, we apparently shit similarly.
After a week of eating the same meals at similar times, in a timezone we weren’t used to, we both couldn’t shit. I know it had been 3 days for me, and I was pretty sure it was the same for him as we shared a hotel room. We were on a tight schedule and had limited breaks. I never saw him enter stall at the conference facility–he never spent much time in the hotel bathroom either.
While on our way to the airport in a rental car we stopped for coffee. No urge for me at that point. It wasn’t until we we started to drive when the urge to poop hit me hard.
I said to my colleague, “I’m sorry can we pull over I really need to use the bathroom?” To my surprise he stated, “Me too. I was about to tell you the same thing”. Fortunately, there was a sign for a nearby rest stop.
As we approached the rest stop exit, my coworker silently farted. He couldn’t deny it because it smelled ripe. He owned it, “Sorry, my gut’s been messed up this whole trip”. We laughed. Then I said, “Same here. I haven’t felt the urge to shit until now”. He said, “it’s been like that for me too”, and, “I’m probably gonna need some time in there”.
Fortunately, we had plenty of time, and I was relieved he said that, as I can never shit in a hurry.
There was a row of 4 or 5 stalls. A couple were filthy. My colleague and I ended up in adjacent stalls with cement dividers. The one between us had a large hole and we could easily see each other. In the delay between him pulling down his pants and sitting on the toilet, I noticed he also had a full bush, and a small to modest flaccid cut penis.
We pretended as if we couldn’t see each other, but I’m sure he saw me too. As soon as I sat down a puff of air escaped my automatically dilating butthole, making a soft “pssshhhft” sound, in a typical pre-turd fart fashion. My coworker soon released a similar, hissy burst of air from his slowly widening rectum, followed by a reflexive “UNGh” and a long sigh.
We both laughed and he said, “this is a whole new level of bonding for us.”
As he said this, I felt my hole expanding more, followed by short intense stomach pains. I also felt the need to warn him. I struggled to say–as the wave to involuntarily bear down started to come on at full force–“Uhh… I can’t help it I ….need to grunt”, followed by an uncontrollable, “uNNgghhhHH” UNGGhhhGH”.
No movement. Though the urge to push passed.
My colleague didn’t respond. He didn’t need to because he seemed to be in the same place, based on his grimaced, reddening face. He let out a couple of “UnggGGHs” and “OH shit.”
I said, “You okay man”? I didn’t notice his response, as a powerful wave to push quickly hit me again, and soon I was in the I-CANT-TALK-NEED-TO-PUSH zone. I pushed. so. hard.
Followed by several other “UNnghHHs” and sighs.
My hole started to make hisses, squeaks and tapping sounds. I started to feel and hear the movement of the brown solid mass. Soon the massive nob was holding open my hole, which had started to gape prior to this. It both hurt and felt good.
In between hard pushing waves, I noticed my coworker’s slightly lifted ass and gaping asshole punctuated by a big brown plug. He was crowning too. I think he was intentionally lifting his ass to show me the emerging turd’s large mass size. He then said in between “UngghGghhs”, “HERE IT COMES”.
“You got this man”, I said.
Then I saw and heard his massive log KEERpluNNKK.
Then another hard push wave hit me. I reflexively pushed hard and let out a loud “UGHHH” again, followed by an involuntary, “Come on”. I didn’t care what he thought of me at that point. . My colleague said something like, “Come on man you can do it”. I said back without thinking,”Can’t…UNNG..talk man..UHhh..pushing..uGHH!”.
The turd was out about 4-5 inches at this point before I clenched.
The splash back hit my gaping rectum. The other logs were right there and easily pushed out.
Another fat 4-5 incher, then a few 3 inchers. All made loud *PLOPS and *DUNKs.
My colleague was pretty much done, but commented again, “sounds like some major splash back”.
“Yeah, definitely. “
We wiped our asses and left the stalls at about the same time feeling emptier and relieved. Which seemed to offset the awkwardness of taking massive grunting dumps together.