Janet was sorting out the laundry as it came out of the dryer. I was standing across the room when I caught out of the corner of my eye a sudden movement. I focused just in time to see a pair of my res nylon beach shorts coming my way. I deftly caught them and said “Ugh!” I wasn’t sure what was happening and shook my head in a bemused way and shrugged my shoulders.
We had returned from holiday the previous day and I was wondering if Janet was freaking out because of the amount of laundry she had needed to do. Not so.
“look inside those” she said
I did and saw the inner mesh support lining was stained a deep yellow, despite being laundered
“Well” she said
“you know very well I replied, OK so I pissed my self on the beach it’s no big deal”
“Not for you” she said. but i had to have those in the beach bag in that state for days.
“Sorry” I mumbled thinking “I have a mother somewhere I don’t need this” but not daring to say so out loud.
She said “I expect it from John he’s only 9 and can’t help himself, but you are 32 and supposed to be house trained”
I tried to think of an adequate response, but was definitely not going to promise “not to do it again”
At that point Janet started giggling uncontrollably and said “Got you that time, do you think I don’t know everyone pees on the beach”
I said “you dont”
Still laughing Janet said “just because i don’t stand there and let it run down my legs like all you overgrown adolescents doesn’t mean I don’t wee. I usually wait until you are off playing games and then pull the crotch of my bikini bottom aside and go in the sand. In fact i have done it with you standing a yard away and you haven’t noticed.
I said “OK you win but stop laughing unless you have a maxi pad in your panties cos you know what happens.
I reckon i made a brave defence, but she was way ahead on points.