This is a true story that happened to me at the beginning of this year, when I was on holiday at the coast. On this particular day, I had eaten a fairly big breakfast before making the drive to the beach where I’d chosen to spend my afternoon, and I had also eaten various other things over the course of the morning – chips, a slice of leftover cheese and salami pizza, and some fruit (which I think was watermelon and apple, if I recall correctly).
I hadn’t been to the toilet to do anything except pee over the past three days, so I was feeling a bit backed up. On the way to the beach, I let out a few rather nasty-smelling farts – I had to open the window because I didn’t feel like stinking up the car – and I knew that I’d probably need to find a bathroom soon. I wasn’t too worried about this, because I knew that there was probably one at the beach that I’d be able to use.
I turned down the road that led to the beach and parked in the designated area. I quickly grabbed my bag and headed off to see if I could find the bathroom. When I noticed the brick building in the distance, I walked towards it, anticipating the relief that I’d soon be feeling. But it was short-lived. A woman walked past me in the opposite direction and asked if I was going to the bathroom. I nodded. She told me that it was closed for renovations, and that the only other bathroom that was within a reasonable distance was at the small shopping centre fifteen minutes away. My heart sank, and this is the thought process that went through my head: *Oh no…no bathroom…big poo about to come out…eek…I can’t hold it much longer…I think I need to pee as well…I’ll probably have to find somewhere else to go…but someone might see me…then what?*
I then decided that the best thing to do would be to find a secluded place to go, because I honestly couldn’t hold on any more. I was already trying very hard not to lose control, so I frantically looked around for somewhere suitable. Eventually I found a high sand dune that was hidden by reeds and plants, and I walked towards it. Once I had checked to make sure that I was really out of sight of any passers-by, I pulled my black bikini bottoms off and squatted down for some much needed relief.
My pee came out in a very strong, hissing stream to form a warm pool that dampened the sand underneath my feet as it quickly spread. When it eventually trickled to a stop, I felt my poo wanting out. It was too big to come out on its own – I needed to push a bit to ease it out, so that was what I did. I was thankful that nobody was nearby because otherwise they would have heard me coming very close to being pushed over the edge and emitting a loud but involuntary sigh of relief and pleasure as the massive log slowly emerged and then quietly dropped onto the sand. For a few moments I was almost overwhelmed by the wonderful sensations, and it took some time before I was able to catch my breath and regain my composure.
I stood up and had a look at what I’d done. The sand was wet in an irregularly circular shape in the place where my feet had been, and in the middle of that patch was a long, fat, sausage shaped lump that was light to medium brown in colour and, despite its thickness and weight, had somehow managed to come out in one perfect piece. It smelled very strong, no doubt because it was completely exposed to the air, but it was a healthy motion and one that had been an immense relief to pass.
I decided not to cover it up, knowing that since it was far from the sea there was no danger of it being washed away and contaminating the water. Someone else might find it, but that wasn’t a concern, because they might also dump their own load on top of it.
Before I left the sand dune, I wiped myself on the inside of my bikini bottoms, which left a slight brown stain from my poo, but because the material was black, I knew that it could easily be cleaned off by rinsing it in the water. I walked away feeling a million times better and very proud of myself…
Remember, anything can serve as a toilet with a bit of imagination!