I have a great relationship with my best friend. He’s straight, in his early 30’s, handsome, very manly looking. He’s the kind of person that’s always cracking a joke, but never at his own expense.
He has this “image” to protect. So he doesn’t like to look bad in front of others and he very rarely shows you a bad side of his. So of course for him, pooping is a very private matter.
It took me a lot of time to convince him that he could fart in front of me and that it didn’t make him look bad. The first time he did it we were in my car and we both had eaten a big meal, and he was really embarrassed, so i started joking until he felt comfortable.
He’s that kind of guy, so imagine my surprise when yesterday happened:
We went to celebrate Halloween at a friend’s house. He went as a prostitute, so he was wearing this tight short red dress that made him look ridiculous in a really funny way and lipstick smeared al over his beard.
We had a lot to drink, and i really mean a lot. So at some point he just passed out in the couch. The owner of the house told me that he couldn’t stay over, so i decided to take him to my place.
I carried him to my car, drove home, carried him up the stairs and dumped him in my bed. (He could barely walk, i wasn’t actually carrying him in my arms, just dragging him along the way).
As soon as i put him to sleep he starts mumbling something along the way of “Can i poop?”, but I didn’t understand him because he was making no sense and dragging the words and speaking almost as if he were asleep. He had his eyes completely shut down.
He had to repeat the sentence like twenty times until I finally asked him, “Do you need to go to the bathroom?”
He just moved his head up and down. I lifted him, put one of his arms around me and started dragging him to the bathroom. No sooner had we gotten there, he pulled his boxers down, lifted his dress and sat down on the toilet.
He didn’t even give me time to leave. He just started grunting and farting and plopping. All this with his eyes shut. I don’t even know if he was awake.
I knew me being there would have bothered him had he been sober, so even though I found the scene really hot and was turned on to a unbelievable point, I had decided to leave. But then he started mumbling again.
Something about “Almost done”…I think. He was asking me something, so I stayed and tried to find out what he was talking about. The smell was bad, but it only made me more excited. I was wetting my boxers just being there.
Finally he stopped making all kind of noises. No farting, no grunting, no plopping, almost snoring. And i asked him, “Are you done?” And once again he moved his head up and down, and started pulling up his boxers.
“You haven’t wiped yet” I reminded him. He wiped. All with his eyes closed, put his arm around me and walked back to bed.
I went back to the scene of the crime because he hadn’t flushed. The toilet was a mess.
The next morning (today), he woke, looked around astonished and asked “Where am I?” I told him i had taken him to my house because he was in no condition of going to his. He said “But I wasn’t even that drunk”. “You wanna know just how drunk you were?” I asked him and proceeded to tell him what had happen in the bathroom the night before.
He laughed. “I don’t remember a thing! Are you sure I was pooping? I mean, was there shit or did I just sit there doing nothing?”
“Oh believe me, there was shit. A lot of it, actually”.
Funnily enough he didn’t look that embarrassed. He just laughed at the whole experience.
I think we’re getting to a whole new level of being comfortable around each other. And that’s fine with me. Next time, maybe he can even poop with me there with no need of alcohol whatsoever. I don’t know if that’ll ever happen, buy a guy can hope.